Subj:	 [ffml] [MW] Prelude:  Paradise?
Date:	99-06-04 17:59:10 EDT
From:	jaana@jaanaverse.simplenet.com (Jaana)
Reply-to:	ffml@onelist.com
To:	ffml@onelist.com

From: "Jaana" 

    Jaana was hot.  It was midday, and the sun shone down brightly on her
bare skin.  She considered getting up and going for a swim, but decided that
it wouldn't be worth the effort, especially when there was another option.
She snapped her fingers and motioned to a figure standing beside her.
    "Kunou, darling....I'm hot."
    "Oh yes..." Kunou sighed, clueless as ever, "you are a goddess, my
love....the very picture of feminine grace and beauty."
    "Oh good lord...." Jaana shook her head  *He's soooo dense sometimes*
"I meant for you to fan me, Kunou."
    "Oh!  Of course!!!"  Kunou grabbed a palm leaf from behind her chair and
started waving it back and forth above her.  "Better, my love??"
    "Yes."  Jaana closed her eyes.  "Much..."  She heard the sound of ice
clinking in a glass from behind her.
    "Your drink, Mistress."
    "Thank you, Aki."  Jaana said, eyeing the young man as he presented her
with a large glass of a strangely colored liquid.
    "Do you require anything else?" he questioned politely.
    Jaana eyed him over the top of her sunglasses, a sly grin briefly
crossing her face.  "Not right now, Aki, thank you."  *Gods, he _is_
delightful...*
    "Very well, then."  Aki bowed and turned to walk away.  Jaana watched as
he disappeared into a small tent several yards away.  She grinned and took a
sip of her drink.  *Sublime....just like always.*
    She heard a low chuckle from beside her, and turned.
    "Jaana, you are _so_ transparent sometimes."
    "Oh come on, Sephiroth...I _know_ you were thinking the exact same
thing."
    Sephiroth chuckled again and leaned back in his seat, tilting his head
toward the sun.  "Maybe......maybe not....."
    Jaana sat up to face Sephiroth.  "Don't even try to tell me you haven't
thought about it," she grinned mischeviously, "I've seen you eyeing him."
    "I really don't know what you're talking about," he replied, attempting
to keep a straight face.  "He's got all those scars."
    "Ahhh....so you have been looking."
    "He's not my type, Jaana."
    "Well, he is mine..."  Jaana turned around to see if Aki had emerged
from the tent.  "I've got definite plans for him."
    "What, you're leaving me?" Sephiroth feigned offense.
    "No, baka!" Jaana smacked him playfully in the arm. "And I think you're
lying.  He _is_ your type."
    Sephiroth sat up, facing her.   "Jaana, don't you ever get bored?"
    She paused, taken slightly aback by his question.  "What do you mean?"
    "I mean, don't you ever get bored sitting out here on the beach, letting
all these men wait on you hand and foot?"
    Jaana snorted.  "Is this a trick question?"
    "No."
    She sighed.  "This is supposed to be Paradise, isn't it?"
    "Yeah.  But is it really?"
    "I don't know..."

Everyone's favorite Dragoon,
Jaana


From:	His Dark Lordship 

Citan ran up in a g-string.

"Phone Call, Madam."

Jaana grabbed the phone.

"Hello?"

"'ey, babe! 'tz me, Drugga!"

"Drugga!?!" said Jaana, shocked.

"Yah! Wozzup?"

"Uhh.. nothing..."

"So, yah heer da Moogie War iz on 'gain?"

"Already!?! Didn't they just finish it?"

"Jaana, 'tz bin 600 yeers."

"Oh." she blushed. "I haven't really been paying attention."

"Anywaz, ya wanna go bak 'n raise sum 'ell?"

"Drugga, I tried to kill you..."

"Yooz did kill me."

"Oh, yeah, right..."

Flashback...

After Drugga's victory over Bacca, the Orks went back and got absolutely
hammered, Jaana and Sephiroth with them.

Jaana woke up in bed with a major headache and some powerful, hairy arms
around her.

"Sephiroth's arms aren't hairy..." she though as she turned her head towards
the heavy breathing.. To see an Ork face.

She screamed.

Drugga dozed up.

"Wot?"

"I... I... I slept with an ORK!"

Drugga looked at Jaana's naked body.

"Ah guess yooz did. Nice boobies. Damn, weez musta hit da fungus beer real
'ard."

Jaana grabbed her Masamunespear off the wall and jabbed Drugga through.

Drugga looked down at the spear sticking out of his stomache.

"Woah, babe, yooz killed me."

Jaana looked at the spear.

"What have I done...?"

She dresses as Drugga sat there, grumbling to himself about not being able to
overrun Paris, then runs out the door, leaving her spear.

She found Sephiroth as soon as possible. He was asleep under a tree.

"Sephy! We have to get out of here!"

"Why?"

Several ork warriors ran up.

"Tharz da bitch dat killed Drugga!"

They pulled out their Scimitars and Klubbs.

Jaana sighed.

"Never mind..."

And that brings us to date.

** ** ** ** **

"Soz, Jaana, yooz wantz ta go bak?"

-- 
The eternal lord of darkness...