Subj: [ffml] The Wacky Adventures of (the good) Vincent (Pat, read.)
Date: 99-11-21 21:23:00 EST
From: RaumKatze2@aol.com
Reply-to: ffml@onelist.com
To: ffml@onelist.com
From: RaumKatze2@aol.com
[Vincent asked me to control the good version of himself from now on.]
Vincent appeared in a poof of smoke. "Well, this is the fifties, I
guess. I didn't know everything would actually be in black and white..." He
looked around to see where he was. Accorrding to the sign in front of him,
he was at NBC studios. "Well, let's see if I can find Jaana." It didn't
take him long. He wandered onto a sound stage where a sitcom was being
filmed:
[catchy, latin-tinged theme music]
Location: Living room
Sephiroth walks in through the door.
[applause]
Sephiroth: Jaa-naaa, I'm hooo-oome
Jaana enters.
[applause]
Jaana: Sephy, can I be in your show at the Tropicana?
Sephiroth: For the last time, Jaana, no.
Jaana: Well, how about some hot sex0r?
Sephiroth: Okay.
[laugh track.]
Jaana and Sephiroth strip off their clothes and start getting it on.
Van from Escaflowne enters from bedroom.
Sephiroth: Jaa-naa, you got some 'splainin' to do.
Jaana: How 'bout we just have a threesome.
Sephiroth: 'Kay.
They all get it on together.
"Cut," yelled the director, "That's a wrap." That actors continued for
a while, and when they were done, they put on their robes. Vincent went up
to Jaana. "You can't do that on TV!!?!!" he said, "Let alone in the
1950's!!!"
"Well, you can now," Jaana retorted.
"You gotta come with me to another time in an alternate reality!"
"Why? I'm perfectly happy, right boys?" She grinned and looked over at
Seph and Van.
"Because Peer will take over the universe if we, the Expo Wars gang,
don't get together and stop him!"
"How do you figure? Can't the Cato Knight take care of Peer by himself?"
"The what what?" asked Vince, befuddled.
"Haven't you ever heard the prophecy? According to an ancient prophecy,
Peer would one day try to take over the universe, but he would be defeated by
one called the Cato Knight."
"But Mike Screwdriver told me..." Vincent was interrupted by a beeping
noise coming from his satchel. It was the porno trigger. He picked it up.
The display read, "press open button." He pressed the button marked, 'open.'
The phallis opened up to reveal an envelope with the word "Jaana" written on
it. Jaana grabbed the envelope, opened it, and read the letter on the
inside. She laughed at Vincent.
"It appears you were being used. You see, this is a letter written to
me by myself in the future. That Mike Screwdriver fellow was hired by the me
in the future to get you to deliver this note to me now. The me from the
future tells me that I should not come back from the dead, even if Drugga and
Sephiroth tell me too, whatever that means."
"So what am I supposed to do now?" asked Vincent.
"I guess you could go back to the world you just came from. But first,"
she grinned, "could me and the fellas use your, um, time machine?"
"Sure, I guess." He handed her the porno trigger. Jaana, Van, and Seph
went off into the bedroom. Vince just sat around twiddling his thumbs for a
while. Finally, the trio emerged and Jaana gave the porno trigger back to
Vince. Vince got a naughty look in his eyes, and sniffed it.
"Actually, I used it on Seph," Jaana said.
"Ewwwww!!!! Sick!" said Vincent.
"Actually, before you go," said Jaana, "There's someone on this lot who
would probably want to go with you. YO! PAT!"
A snazzily dressed man came scurrying. "What is it, your Jaananess?"
"I think Vincent here can take you back to the time you got sent here
from."
"Oh joy!" said Pat, "I am so sick of being in black and white."
"Okay, you can come with me," said Vince, "but first I've gotta wash
this thing off."
[You can pick up right here, Pat. And by "you can," I mean, "I want you to."
:) ]
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Subject: [ffml] The Wacky Adventures of (the good) Vincent (Pat, read.)
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