Subj: [ffml] [MW] Back to the Present, Part II
Date: 99-08-29 18:09:12 EDT
From: patszostak@juno.com
Reply-to: ffml@onelist.com
To: ffml@onelist.com
From: patszostak@juno.com
600 years after the present (a date would be really helpful here ^_^),
when MWIII is taking place. Emperor Mog is in his throne room, speaking
with the Yellow Tulip Magician.
Yellow Tulip Magician: Your Horniness, all attempts at time travel since
we got Pat have failed.
Mog: I see.
YTM: I'd like to take this oppurtunity to point out that it's not my
fault, and that I am still the greatest magician that ever lived.
Mog: Uh...okay. Then why aren't you able to do any more time traveling?
YTM: For some reason, the spell that transports one to the End of Time no
longer works. It's almost as if it's being purposefully repelled by
someone...but whatever the cause, we won't be able to do any more time
traveling.
Mog: Blast! NOW how will I be able to reassemble the cast of TV's "The
Jeffersons"?
YTM: I don't know, but maybe it's better this way. Now you can focus
more of your energy on the total conquering and raping of mankind.
Mog: Yes! And once I've conquered everything I can find, then I will
brainwash all the people and turn them into clones of the cast members of
TV's "The Jeffersons"! Bwa ha ha ha ha!
YTM: Uh...right. I've got to go now... [runs away]
Meanwhile, General Pat and his moogle army are still traipsing through
the woods, lugging the Mana Stone of Light behind them.
Pat: *sigh* 600 years...such a long time...everything I've ever known is
buried under the dust of centuries. My home is sure to be in shambles,
my friends, long gone... [starts bawling] Waaah! Poor Truffle! Poor
Shitty! Poor Biff! I'll never see them again!
Truffle: Pat, we came with you remember?
Pat: Oh yeah...
Shitake: And don't call me that!!
Pat: Yeah, yeah. But everything's so different now; civilization has
advanced. And I bet no one says "the bomb" anymore *sniff*.
Kupug: Look at that cloud [points to the sky]! It kinda looks like a
fish!
Kamuf: Wow! That cloud is the fragapoit!
Pat: "The fragapoit?!" That's it!! I'm not long for this cruel new
world or it's soul-less slang terminology!! I'm leaving!
Biff: Well, it's not that I don't agree with you, Pat, but how exactly
are you going to get back?
Pat: Uh...cursing and breaking stuff?
Biff: That didn't stop them from canceling Mr. Belvedere and it won't
take you back to the past.
Pat: Awww! If ever there was a time when I needed some strangers to show
up and solve my problems for me, this is the time!
Adventure Johnny, Professor Backwater, Riesz XVIII, and Nu walk up to
Pat.
Nu: There he is! Alright, you, I'm taking you back to your own time
whether you like it or not, so don't give me any lip!
Pat: Woo hoo!!
Nu: So...you're not gonna give me any lip? Well, don't I look the fool.
Pat: [sees Riesz] *gasp* Could it be?! Yes, it is!! Riesz, my love!
[glomps onto Riesz]
Riesz: *mmph* Get your hands *grr* off me!! And I'm not Riesz, I'm her
great-great-great-etc., grandaughter.
Pat: [doesn't let go] Aren't we all?
Professor Backwater: I should hope not, because then we'd all be related,
and our children would all be mutants and freaks.
Adventure Johnny: Mutants?! AIIEEEE! [hides]
Riesz: But I don't even *like* you!!
Pat: We can't let that stand in the way of true love! ... [lets go] Oh,
wait...
Nu: Well, now that that's settled, I'm going to take you back to your own
time, Pat. And I'm not sure how, but I'm going to have to take away your
immortality, too.
Pat: Mog never gave me immortality, though. He promised to, but then
when I got here, all he gave me was this admittedly hilarious T-shirt
[shows off his "I'm with Stupid -->" shirt]
Nu: Well, I'm going to have to take THAT back, then.
Pat: Nooooo! Not the shirt, it's so hilarious!!
Nu: Sorry.
Pat: Aww, do I at least get a consolation shirt?
Nu: Nope.
Pat: Awww!
Professor Backwater: We're about to see a real live Nu create a real live
time portal to take a real live Pat back in time! Oh, this is all so
exciting!
Nu: Now it's just a simple matter of creating a time gate leading back to
600 years ago, and taking Pat through it. Yup, I'd say that nothing
could possibly go wrong.
Meanwhile, back in Mog's headquarters...
Yellow Tulip Magician: Grrr! I don't know who's stopping me from
creating a time gate, but I'm not going to put up with it anymore! I'm
the greatest magician in the world!!
The Yellow Tulip Magician chants the spell that creates a time gate one
more time, with no success. However, his tampering with the seals on the
gates does affect the Nu who's trying to take Pat back to his time, by
making him lose control off the time gate he's creating. It grows bigger
and bigger, enveloping the Nu, Pat, and the three explorers in the
bright, time travely, light.
Nu: AUGH! Something went wrong! I've lost control of the gate!
Adventure Johnny: AIEEE!! [hides]
Pat: Don't worry, Riesz! I'll protect you!
Professor Backwater: Oh my goodness! We're being sucked in to a real
live time gate! It's all so exciting!!
Everything is chaotic for another few seconds until Pat, the Nu, and the
explorers disappear in another flash of light, leaving the forest
clearing eerily calm.
--Pat "The Body" Szostak
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Subject: [ffml] [MW] Back to the Present, Part II