Subj: [ffml] [MW] Spinning Wheel Date: 00-08-27 03:29:56 EDT From: magus@cyberverse.com (Daniel Polcari) Reply-to: ffml@egroups.com To: ffml@egroups.com CC: RaumKatze2@aol.com [You should read posts 74, 75, and 89 prior to reading this one.] -=-=-=- Ash reattached the Chainsaw to his arm in place of the metal hand, the latch joining with an audible 'click'. Schmerzen lay in a semi- destroyed heap against an earthen hillside, smoke pouring from its torso. "If it weren't for that bastard in the black armor, we could've put some gas in this thing before we left the hangar in Doma!" Ash remarked. "No use complaining about it now. We've got a good walk ahead of us. Does anyone even know where we are now?" Jeala spoke, wiping soot from her forehead. "Yes.. we're on the southeastern outskirts of.. ..Of Toroia." Said Chaerii. Ash revved his chainsaw, making sure it was still working, and then replaced it once more with his metal hand. "Well, good! We've got ourselves a Necronomicon, I got you guys home in one piece, and once we get back to your fancy little castle, I can get the hell outta here! He said. "It's not that simple, Ash. If you've forgotten, Toroia is inundated with those damnable electric rats.. I only hope that the soldiers in the castle have managed to hold their ground. We've been gone for more than a month!" Chaerii said, looking toward the horizon. "Yeah, sure, but didn't you say that the Necronomicon could deal with them? You've been flipping through that thing like it was Reader's Digest or something.. Don't tell me you haven't found how we can off those bastards? My car's gonna be shot after being parked for a month in this weather, and my shotgun's not gonna help us this time around," Ash said, dangling the warped instrument in front of him. "Yet another blessing we can thank good ol' E'ris for!" "Well, there's bad news and there's good news. The bad news is that the Pikachu are ferocious, hungry, agile, and able to breed like rabbits on viagra. The good news is that they're not exactly animals, but rather some kind of pseudo-monster called a Pokemon. The Ash we were trying to summon would've been able to capture and control them with his Pokeballs, but.." "Whoa, Pokeballs? I get those a few days after I shave the boulders on the south pass, if you know what I mean.." Ash interrupted, winking. In the flash of a second, Jeala's foot flew out and Ash's left foot failed to move forward after the right one. He tasted pine needles and forest floor, coughing. "Yes, well, as I was saying," Chaerii continued, "We don't have any Pokeballs, and according to the text, we're not going to find any around here. But the fact remains that the Pikachu are mortal.. We'll find a way to deal with them." "Goodddd dammit! This shit's never gonna end, is it!?" Ash bitched. "Okay. Okay. So we charge the city, get to your castle, and get me the hell out of here, right?" He said. Chaerii had to stop Jeala from breaking his nose. "Ash! I can't believe that you'd abandon us like this, you bastard! We've fought together for so long, and if it weren't for us, that E'ris would have gutted you!" Jeala screamed at him blindly. "And Vincent, right? But the lot of good it did him. He's dead now anyway! This whole thing is fucked up, and I think I've been through enough!" Ash yelled back as he took off down the trail. Jeala followed him, obviously gaining on him with her lengthy stride. She moved to tackle him, when a loud and assertive voice spoke over the confusion. "Enough, dammit!" A dark, tall figure moved out from between the trees and lifted both Jeala and Ash from the ground. Jeala leaned in and kicked at her captor, instantly illiciting a pained groan from her mouth as her foot struck solid metal. Ash fought to right himself, but he was facing away from the man and his chainsaw wasn't equipped. "The three of you are getting no further now than you got in the Hangar underneath Doma.." Nobody needed to hear anymore. Without question, it was the voice of E'ris. Chaerii screamed and promptly cast Aero at him. The attack had little effect on E'ris, but Jeala and Ash were blown from his grip. Before Ash even touched ground, he had slung his chainsaw-arm into place and brought it up in time to meet the sword-blow he'd expected E'ris to sling. Jeala had leapt to the side, aiming for where E'ris' head would have been, however neither of them met the expected results. E'ris was unarmed, now standing against a tree on the other side of the path. "How did you..!?" Chaerii blurted in surprise. Ash took up a defensive stance and cursed the luck that had lost him his shotgun. "You're all so quick to serve me dinner, but the entrees are half-baked. Perhaps I need to help you..cook them a little!" E'ris chuckled as he deftly loosed a trio of Windburn spells. Chaerii and Jeala went down in pain, but Ash swiftly moved to the side and jumped in, bringing the Chainsaw down toward E'ris' head. Imbalanced by his confidence, E'ris barely had time to block the attack with his armored forearm, causing sparks to issue forth from the chainsaw's blade. In his present state, he could barely hold Ash bash, but he smiled and laughed anyway. "Don't worry, human, your blade will die long before it penetrates my armor!" "Maybe," Ash laughed in return, "But even when it does, it'll still be sharper than you!" At this, he cocked his head to the side, indicating to Jeala. E'ris glanced over in time to see her drop a rock on his head. -=-=-=- After partaking in such a healthy dose of blood, Kilek felt much better. The multitude of Moogles in Crossland lay scattered about the town, most dead in the town square where they'd made a futile effort at attacking him. However, Kilek had realised in this battle that he was not invincible. A cunning pair of regulars had tried to bait him, and when he swung at the first, the second appeared from directly behind his companion and used the opening to stick a dagger in Kilek's side. The weapon had not pierced organs, but the wound throbbed. The glove made his attacks deft and piercing, but it did nothing to ebb his pain or protect him from damage. The town was now quiet, and Kilek began to search the houses in the town. Pawning through the smithery whose former operator now seasoned the coals with a blackened, smoldering pile of moogle bones, Kilek found a hand-and-a-half broadsword which was much more to his liking. The entire blade was made from one piece of metal, and its weight was concentrated in its flared tip.. The extra surface area would likely provide a huge bonus to the Glove's wind strike. He took a moment to engrave a stylised image of a large moogle without a bobber upon the pommel before he moved on to the Mayor's house. He finally bathed--The temptation of the huge porcelain bath was too much. Unfortunately, he could detect the smells of past sex in the room.. It was likely that the mayor himself had been Kupoed to death. Kilek wondered if word of his acheivements had reached the Moogle Army's command chain yet, or even as far as the Human army. As Kilek romped through the houses in Crossland, he found his answer in a room where two moogles were hiding. In the corner of the room lay a cage containing three white pigeons. "Well, well. I suppose you were hoping I'd leave and never find you so that you would live long enough to send a message to Turan via pigeon. Hah!" Kilek chuckled, fingering the hilt of his sword. The pair edged up closer to the wall, one of them hiding something behind his back. "Ho? What's that you've got?" Kilek inquired. Trembling for a second, the Moogled feigned handing something off to his companion, who then made a break for the door. Kilek easily chased him down and relieved him of his blood. To Kilek's surprise, there was nothing in the Moogle's hand.. In the confusion, the moogle who originally seemed to be holding something had stood up on a table and thrown a window open. Kilek turned at the sound.. An unmistakable "Coo." He ran to stop the messenger from loosing the pigeon, but it was too late. Kilek made out the white shape embarking off into the sky, a message tube tied to its foot. Kilek grabbed the young moogle in a rage and stared into his eyes. "On.. second.. thought.. I think that a little Kupo would do me some good.." For the next three hours, the dominant sound over crossland was that of moogle ecstasy. But only Kilek's. [Eric or Sky, please deal with the results of the Pigeon's message to Southvale.] -=-=-=- What was going on? His vision was blurred, but he could feel a soreness on the top of his head, and also the scratchiness of tree bark on the back of his head and neck. He heard a voice, as well. "Ash, he's waking up. Where's our insurance?" The feminine voice spoke off to the left. "Cool it, Jeala. It's all tied up, tighter'n a frog's twat..." The sound of a slap. "Oww! What was that for?" "You're going to have to learn how to talk to a lady one day, Ash." A third voice replied. Logic returned to E'ris' mind, and he remembered. Dear god, had he really lost a fight? Suddenly he opened his eyes and sensed ropes around his wrists and ankles. "Ah-Ah-Ah, bub, I suggest you don't move. Those ropes're hooked quite sensually up to a length of piano wire around your neck. Strain, and we're gonna see a cross-section of your throat." Ash spoke, his voice rich with mockery. "And, I might add for Ash, that if you speak in a manner which we do not find fitting, this cable which I hold in my hand acts as quite an effective choke-chain." Jeala said. E'ris grinned, but only for a second. Feigning a submission to reality, his face grew grave and he nodded. Finding this to be a mistake, E'ris grunted as the piano wire nearly dug into his neck. "You certainly didn't leave me much leighway, did you, now?" He said. Chaerii had been facing away, but she now turned and leaned in to E'ris, her eyes meeting his. "Listen, traveller--Every step of the way, your presence has fouled the harvest of our earnest efforts to regain our homeland.. You regretlessly step in the path of our noble mission as though it were nothing! In your greedy pursuit of drium, you may well have already doomed our homeland." Chaerii said, her eyes growing more grave at every word. E'ris scoffed, but before his could speak, Jeala choked him. "Bastard!! How can you be indifferent to such a thing!? You don't know what it's like, losing your home.. your friends.. your loved ones!" She cried out, exceedingly sadly in the last case. E'ris' face grew dark and he screamed at her.. "How DARE you say such a thing!? For several thousand years now I have AIMLESSLY wandered this barren, tiny world because my home of twenty thousand years was mercilessly destroyed by beasts far worse, far more evil, and deadly, and numerous.. than these, these worthless little.. Rats!!! These rats that you complain of! A single one of my race could defeat their entire race, had not my race been slaughtered in their sleep by such as Guardeyes! You cannot imagine what I have lost! In one day I lost more than you will have in a thousand lives!!" Chaerii and Ash backed away at his words. The language itself had not been out of the ordinary, but the words themselves flew with a strange, unnerving edge.. as though they were spoken from two mouths at once. E'ris shot angered glances between the three of them, rapidly coming down from his emotional high. "So, NEVER again in a state of sanity shall you describe my pursuit as GREEDY or my countenance as regretless! Nor shall you say that I am without remorse. The three of you are still alive, and had I so desired to kill you, I could have done so fifty times since I awakened." At this, E'ris emitted a green light, and stood up as the ropes and wires tying him down exploded in a quiet shower of particles. The three prepared for a fight, but E'ris turned around. "Stand down. We're all in the same boat here. The least we can do is get something done..." E'ris threw out his hand and dropped three white amulets on the ground. Coming out of embarassed speechlessness, Ash inquired.. "What.. are those?" E'ris had already began traversing the path toward Toroia. Chaerii stopped and picked up one of the Amulets, examining it, before she spoke.. "Coral amulets.. I think he knows more about what we're up against than we do.." Chaerii donned the amulet and began to walk after E'ris. "Damn this shit.. It gets more complicated every 30 seconds.." Ash bitched again. As he donned his amulet, following Chaerii's example, he looked to his side.. "The hell?! My shotgun.." Picking it up from the ground, Ash saw that it had been straightened, and now bore a black rune on the buttstock. "Man, I'm never gonna get this crap. Let's get the hell out of here.." Ash followed Chaerii. Jeala stood still for a moment, watching the others go. She looked at the last remaining amulet on the ground for a second.. Tears in her eyes, she stepped on it and continued on. Jeala DuPree had not felt the wave of the future this week, and as such saw no need for a charm meant to preserve her life.. -=-=-=-=- +----------------------+ | Daniel Steven Polcari| Subj: [ffml] [MW] The Ultimate Experience in Pokemon Terror Date: 00-08-29 22:48:15 EDT From: raumkatze2@aol.com Reply-to: ffml@egroups.com To: ffml@egroups.com This post was written as a joint effort between Daniel Polcari and myself. Enjoy. ----------- "Alright," said E'ris, "What do you intend to do now?" "The first thing we gotta do," said Ash, taking a step forward, "is to find a safe place to study the necronomicon to find out exactly what we're supposed to do with it to kill these little shits." "Well," said Chaerii, "I don't think we can go back to the castle. The Pikachus will obviously have occupied the town, and there's no way we can simply march past them.." "What about the ancient library?" asked Ash. "No, that's on the opposite side of Toroia," said Jeala, "But I think I might know of a place. My family used to own a cabin somewhere in these woods. We stayed there every summer when we vacationed at Toroia. Sometimes the High Priestess would even pay us a visit there." Ash had become the very picture of irony. "A fucking cabin. It figures!" he grumbled, shaking his head. "Anyway... It sounds great. Let's go." said E'ris, "You lead the way." "That's the thing though," said Jeala, "It's been over fifteen years since I've been to the cabin. I don't remember exactly where it is, and to tell you the truth I don't know exactly where we are right now." "Oh, great," said Ash, rolling his eyes. "But I do have a feeling that it is... This way!" She pointed to the east. Ash sighed, but did not object, since she knew her way around this area better than he did. "Let's hope we reach some sorta shelter before nightfall. Once it's dark, all bets are off," he said. E'ris chuckled. Humans are so superstitious, he thought, always fearing what they do not understand. His feeling of superiority was undermined, however, by the uncertainty and doubt he felt in the presence of the Dark Lord, Thanatos, who had twice before shown himself to be superior to the Seeker... The party had followed Jeala for about a half hour, but the woods were only getting thicker and the daylight was failing quickly. "I say we turn back now and head for the city. It may be Pikachu-ville, but it's better than gettin' stuck in these woods at night. At least there we'd be able to hole up in a nice stone building and make a stand. The only thing stoppin' us is a couple of them little electric rats, and I got the perfect recipe for dead rat.." Ash said, patting his chainsaw.. "Quiet!" said E'ris with a sharpness that made everyone feel angry. "Listen, pal, your mouth sure is gettin' pretty..." "Ash, be silent! I hear something.." said E'ris. At a level of faintness beyond the sensitivity of human ears, Tyrmagest had detected a familiar sound and relayed the warning to E'ris. It was the unmistakable call that had plagued his sleep for the last few weeks.. "PIKACHU!" For the last half hour, he heard something in the distance, but it was so faint he could not tell what it was.. Now, it was closer and there was no question that it was the cry of the approaching Pikachu. "Bad news, guys. Set some extra places for dinner, because those rodents you are afraid of are nearby, and by the sound of it, they are getting closer--quickly." "Well then," Ash grinned, "It sounds like it's time to carve up some rodents!" He reached for the starter of his chainsaw. "No!" said Chaerii, stilling his hand, "You cannot strike them with anything metallic. You'll get electrocuted." "In that case," said Ash, his keen eye spotting a Pikachu sneaking towards them, "maybe they're hungry--for a lead sandwich!" He quickly drew his shotgun and fired at the Pikachu as it jumped at him. It exploded in midair in a shower of blood and sparks. "Take a bite, asshole!" Ash yelled, and cycled the shotgun through several more rounds as a few other Pikachus dared to approach the group. E'ris did his share of the work as he spotted four Pikachu in a line and brought his arm around effortlessly to bisect them with one swipe of his Drium sword, Tyrmagest. Another Pikachu threatened to rush him, but he liquefied its internal organs with a sudden shockwave of air, causing it to bleed freely from every orifice as it landed among its slain companions. The rest of the Pikachus began to scurry away, not wanting to meet the same fate as their brethren. Ash reloaded and then twirled his gun and returned it to it's holster on his back. "I don't think we'll have to worry about them for a while. Wiping these little shits out might not be so hard after all," he gloated. "Always so early to speak," said E'ris, kneeling down to feel the earth. "What's going on?" said Jeala. E'ris concentrated. "Just as I thought," he said, "They didn't run away to escape us. They went to get reinforcements. There are a few hundred of them closing in on us from all directions. An underpowered army always resorts to attrition when faced with a superior enemy." "Shit!" said Ash, "What the fuck are we gonna do now?!" "Ash!" said Jeala, "I recognize this place now. We're almost to the cabin. Follow me!" Something dawned on E'ris. In the cabin he'd found earlier on his journey, the dead lumberjack and his wife had fallen victim to electric shock. He now made the connection, and a chill went up his complex spine. He might be able to fight his way out, thanks to the blessing of his armor, but he feared for his companions... Chaerii, E'ris, and Ash all ran after Jeala, who moved with more purpose now. They finally saw the cabin; It was a little run-down, but it was still standing, and it might just be their salvation.. "..Or our Alamo.." thought Ash. Jeala threw open the door, and Chaerii and E'ris were right behind her. Ash looked over his shoulder as he ran to the door. He saw that there was one Pikachu ahead of the rest of the pack that was nearly on top of him. He bolted through the doorway and slammed the solid Oak door behind him and catching the Pikachu by the tail. Its eyes narrowed and its cheeks began to spark, but Ash smashed its skull with his rubber-soled boot and kicked it aside. Jeala barred the door and set a chair underneath the doorknob. "Thank God we made it!" said Chaerii, out of breath. "Don't get too comfortable, sister," Ash said, "These little bastards are too persistent to let a locked door keep 'em out. We gotta board up all the windows." Jeala was able to find a box of nails and two hammers. The four broke apart tables and chairs to use as boards. Jeala and Chaerii nailed boards with hammers, while Ash hammered with the butt of his shotgun, and E'ris drove the nails straight into the wall via some sort of telekinesis. Chaerii marvelled at this for a moment before Jeala dragged her back to work. They finished relatively quickly, they all sat down in the den around one of the few tables that they had not smashed. Ash set down the Necronomicon Ex Mortis on the table and opened it up, thinking "Here we go again..." "It's a good thing that guy V'Terr gave that Necronomicon," said Jeala. Ash nodded. He flipped through the pages and found one page with a picture of what looked to be a Pikachu. "Something tells me this is the part that'll help us," he said, "There's just one problem." "Which is...?" asked E'ris dryly. "I.. er, don't know how to read this..?" "What the...?!" exclaimed Chaerii, "I thought you told us that you had experience with this book!!?" "Yeah," said Ash, "But I've never tried to read from it myself. Whenever I needed to do something with the book, there was always some scholar or wise man around." "Let me see that," said Jeala. She grabbed the book and looked at the text. "Why, this language looks just like ancient Fabulian script. I learned how to read this language in grade school." "Kickass, now we can get somethin' done." said Ash. "Just give me some time. I'm a little rusty, but I think I can get it. It's just been quite a few years since I've tried to read this language.." Ash paced around the room. The minutes felt like hours. Pikachus could be heard banging against the boarded-up windows of the cabin. Ash wondered how much longer he and his friends would be safe in here. He decided to make himself useful by building a fire in the fireplace. E'ris sat idly, his sword at hand, ready to cut down any intruding Pikachu. "Okay," said Jeala, "I understand now." Everyone gathered around her. "There are two incantations here. The first one... exposes the evil power of the Pikachu to the mortal world. This will cause the Pikachus to become imbued with demonic power." "Oh, that'll really freakin' help us," said Ash sarcastically. "Let me finish, Ash. After we cast that spell, then we will be able to cast the second one, which will banish them from this dimension..." Just then, the sound of breaking glass filled the room. They turned their heads to see a Pikachu's arm sticking through the window, trying to pull apart the boards that blocked its entrance into the cabin. "Hurry, Jeala," said Chaerii, "you can do it!" "Okay then," said Jeala. She took a deep breath and began to incant the first spell. As she reached the end of it, a great roar was heard from the forest outside. The Pikachu at the window, now demonically posessed, ripped through the boards and jumped onto Jeala. "Shit, it's a Pikachite!" Ash yelled. E'ris immediately decapitated the burled, hulking monster with his sword, and helped Jeala up off the floor. "You're okay!" said Chaerii, "Quickly, cast the second spell!" "You'd like that, wouldn't you," Jeala said mockingly, throwing the Necromonicon into the fireplace, where it quickly combusted. "What?!" said Chaerii, "What are you doing?!" She looked into Jeala's eyes and saw that her pupils were gone. In fact, her whole face was changing. Her formerly ginger complexion was turning purple, and in the place of her teeth were yellow fangs. Blood had flowed down her neck where a wound from the Pikachite's attack had struck, but it had stopped bleeding as Jeala's flesh coagulated. Chaerii screamed, and ran to hide behind E'ris and Ash. Ash grinned sardonically and began to rev up his chainsaw.