Subj: [ffml] [MW] Housewarming Date: 00-07-29 23:00:45 EDT From: raumkatze2@aol.com Reply-to: ffml@egroups.com To: ffml@egroups.com It had been about two weeks since Kat and her men had been given custody of Hiel Keep, but it fell like it had been months. She felt like a rent-a-cop who is guarding an empty warehouse. The days were uneventful, slow, and monotonous. Boredom lead her to dwell on her feelings of guilt for Ladice's death. Other than a pleasant surprise visit from Gogo a few days after she had been given custody of the Keep, the only other souls she had contact with were the Henriksens. They were warm and friendly, but aside from the different uniforms denoting different ranks, she could not honestly not tell any of them apart, and that added to the monotany. Not even Poochie was with her anymore. When they had arrived at the Keep, Poochie said that now that he had gotten her back into this universe, he could do the most good by subtley manipulating events, and he had disappeared into thin air. Kat felt so out of place here. She figured a General has better things to do than this. But at the same time, she felt utterly afraid at the concept of going into battle again. Except for the Henriksens and Poochie, no one else seemed to take her seriously as a soldier. When General Wang had handed the Keep over to her, he seemed very cold towards her, as did his men. The avariel who had left with the Domans had also regarded her with apprehension, if only because of the strange company she kept. Things had continued to be uneventful until this day, when Kat was pulled out of her dream-world of self-pity by a call of alert. "General, it's the Moogles!" a higher ranking Henriksen called to her. "What?! General Wang told me this area had been cleared of moogles!" She followed him up to a room in one of the fifth floor which had a window. She looked out with binoculars. In the distance, she could see a band of moolges crossing the mountain pass. "Ready the archers," said Kat, already feeling the adrenaline building in responce to the prospect of a battle, "This might just be fun." [Your turn, Eric.] Subj: [ffml] Re: [MW] Housewarming Date: 00-08-03 17:21:53 EDT From: darklord@compusmart.ab.ca (His Dark Lordship) Reply-to: ffml@egroups.com To: ffml@egroups.com And now for something complete different. Kat had the archers ready. Everyone stood ready. It was too much to bear. Kat grumbled. Then, the Moogles were in range. Kat: FIRE! The arrows were launched. They all missed. Kat stared at her archers. Kat: What the hell? The archers shrugged. Kat: Second volley! Archer: Ahh, General? Kat looked at him oddly. Kat: What? Archer: It appears we don't have any arrows. Kat: What about the pile of them we had back at the camp? Archer: My guess is that they're still there. Kat slapped her forehead. She didn't need this stress. Too much stress. He doctor told her she shouldn't have this much stress. Stress... stress... stress... Suddenly something struck her in the eye. She grabbed it and examined it. It was white and sticky. Soldier: They just threw a ball of semen at us... Moogle: PEople of Heil Keep, we demand you surrender to us immedietly! Kat: Blow me! Moogle: Gladly. He nodded grinningly. Kat shook her head. Kat: We cannot allow them to get into the fortress. Whatever we have to throw at them, do it! The soldiers nodded, and a handful ran off throughout the fortress to find viable projectiles. The Moogles charged. Immedietily they began scaling the walls. The soldiers returned and began hucking rocks over the edge. Kat: Good, rocks are good. Soldier: Damn! We're out of rocks! Kat: How can we be out of rocks? SOldier: Maybe Tim took them all. Kat: Why would Tim take the rocks? Soldier: For a catapult? Kat: Tim has dragons. Why the fuck does he need a catapult? The soldier shrugged. A Moogle bolted through the window. Moogle: HAHAHA! I'm i-UWSAAAASHJKG! A soldier stood behind him with a speer. Kat: Quick! More projectiles! About twelve soldiers returned, barely managing to keep a large cow aloft. Kat: Throw it! Cow: Moooo Kat: Sorry Bessie... Bessie: Mooo The soldiers threw the cow over the ramparts. Bessie: Moooo. THe soldiers look down. Soldier: Sweet jesus... Soldier: They're kupo'ing the cow... Kat: BESSIE! NOOOOOO! Bessie: Moooo *uNF* Kat: That's it. They killed Bessie. Soldier: Looks like she's still alive to me. Kat: SHUT UP! Bessie: Mooooo *uNF* Several more soldiers return. Soldier: General! We found a large stockade of Porn in the basement, along with several sexual devices! Kat: THROW THEM! Soldier: Uhh.. yes sir. They hucked the porn, dildos, vibrators, nipple clamps, chastity belts, whips, and various other fun devices over the ramparts. One dildo struck a Moogle in the eye, killing him instantly. The Moogle suddenly stop and pick up the porn. THe leader nods in approval, and they pick up the cow, porn, etc and march away. Kat: They're leaving... Soldier: I guess they just wanted the porn. Kat: That hardly seems like a viable reason to attack. Solider: Must be some really fucking good porn. Soldier: Then why the fuck did we give it to them. Kat: Hey, wait... they took Bessie. BESSIE! Soldier: What's with that cow? Kat: Lance, Bessie is my cow. Soldier: Ohhhhh.... Kat sighs. Kat: I will find you Bessie, if it's the last thing I do. Bessie : Mooooooooooo..... -- The eternal lord of darkness... "And if our dreams sometimes come true, then what of our nightmares?" -The undisputed Master of Final Fantasy 2 -GM of FF2c -Member in good standing of Sky's Posse ICQ UIN# 23424269 IRC Nicks: TheDarkLord, GannondorfDragmire, occasionally Blackthorne System: Amiga 4000/040 Cybervision64 & Opalvision ---INTEL/MICROSOFT FREE---