Subj:	 [ffml] [MW] Pat's "secret" mission
Date:	99-07-07 20:42:15 EDT
From:	darklord@compusmart.ab.ca (His Dark Lordship)
Reply-to:	ffml@onelist.com
To:	ffml@onelist.com (ffml), patszostak@juno.com (Pat), Raven66@canada.com (High Ravenlord Kcin XIII)

From:	His Dark Lordship 

General Pat and five moogles wandered through the bush.

"So, General, why is this mission so important? We weren't even briefed?"

"This mission is so secret we haven't even posted to the list to inform people
about it!" wispered Pat. "You have your weapons?"

"Yes. We have the fish. But what good are these fish?" asked a Moogle.

"These aren't ordinary fish! These are Banzai Fish from Hell!" said Pat.

"Really?" asked a Moogle as he pulled the fish out. It immedately grabbed his
arm and started devouring him. "AAAAA!! IT'S ON MY FUCKING ARM!!!!"

Pat lead the moogles on but they focused on trying to get the fish off their
comrade...

* * * * * * *

"What on earth is that noise?" thought Alan to himself as he walked out the
cabin into his beautiful glade, only to see five moogles rolling around the
grass with fish attatched to them and Pat.

"Patula!" yelled Alan.

"Alan!" yelled Pat.

They hugged.

"So, Alan, why are you still alive? It's been 600 years" said Pat.

"It has?" asked Alan.

Suddenly he dropped dead from old age.

"Alan!!!" yelled Pat "Okay! I lied! It hasn't been 600 years!"

Alan regained health.

"Phew, you had me worried there for a moment."

"Yeah. Didn't realize you weren't aware it had been 600 years."

Alan drops dead again.

"Dammit! It hasn't been! I lied!"

Alan revives.

"Anyway," says Alan "Why are you here?"

"Well.." said Pat "In return for my immortality-"

"Immortality!?!" asked Alan "How old are you?"

"617." said Pat.

"617.. that means it's been 600 years!"

Alan drops dead again!

"Dammit! I'm 17. SEVENTEEN!!!"

Alan revives.

"So, in return for your immortality.." he continues.

"Oh yes. Anyway, Mog gave me immortality. I'm here to find out if you will be
opposing Mog or joining him in his new campaign."

"Well, obviously I will be opposing him." said Alan.

"Well then, you leave me no choice but to use my fish." said Pat. "KuBug!
Bring me the fish!"

Nothing happens.

He turns around. The Moogles have been completely devoured. The fish
apparantly have run off into the woods.

Pat turns around again.

"Umm... you mind just staying here for awhile?"

And Pat took off into the woods, chasing the dreaded Banzai Fish from Hell.'


From: Aalans8937@aol.com

The paladin is drawn into the war...!:


And so, Alan waits for 3 hours... Wondering what he is waiting for...

Alan: "I wonder what I'm waiting for... Maybe he went out to buy me a cake! 
Mmmmmm! Yes! A cake! A German chocolate cake! With that good coconut 
frosting! And... Hey, wait a minute... did he say Mog?"

Yes, he did!

Alan: "Ah! See! The narrator says so! Hmmmm... I'm going to have to do 
something about this! I think I'd better get the troops back together!"

And so, Alan calls up his military (Who only exist during periods of war, so 
they don't age much...) on the phone! Shortly after... the troops all gather 
at Alan's cabin!

Alan's mom: "Hey! What are all these men doing here?"

Alan: "Uhm... We're just going to have a war!"

Alan's mom: "Oh... Be sure to clean up after you're done, then!"

A sweat drop appears over Alan's head

Alan: "What? Is it raining?"

Sweatdrops appear over the heads of all the soldiers

Alan: "Oh NO! It *IS* raining! We'd better get some shelter! Everyone inside!"

Everybody scrambles to get inside

Soldier: "Uhm... sir... You locked us out..."

Alan: "What?!"

Soldier: "I said 'Uhm... sir... You locked us out...'"

Alan: "I heard you!"

Soldier: "Then why did you say 'What?!'"

Alan: "Uhm.. Don't question my authority! Let's get out of here!"

Alan mounts his trusty sig and leads his army onward

And so, Alan's army has been mobilized... But... is it too late? Can the 
moogles be stopped? How did Alan's troops get there so quickly? Who will be 
the next person enlisted into his army? Why didn't Alan age any? Why do they 
call an orange an orange, but don't call a banana a yellow? Just what does a 
yellow light mean? WIll Johnny ever walk again? Are Alan and his sig... JUST 
friends? Why isn't Alan wearing any clothes?


Alan: "WHAT?!"

Soldier: "He said 'Why isn't Alan wearing any clothes?'"

Alan: "Oh. Wait a minute! I am, too!"

Find out this, and more, on the next exciting episode of... 

Alan: "I AM wearing clothes! I really am! You've gotta' beleive me!"

THE MOOGLE WAR!!!

(Ok, I'm tired right now, so if everything in this post was very stupid... 
there's why! ^_^*)
Paladin and Master General Alan