Subj:	 [ffml] [MW] Invasion!
Date:	99-07-07 20:42:07 EDT
From:	darklord@compusmart.ab.ca (His Dark Lordship)
Reply-to:	ffml@onelist.com
To:	ffml@onelist.com (ffml), Raven66@canada.com (High Ravenlord Kcin XIII), patszostak@juno.com (Pat)

From:	His Dark Lordship 

After several weeks, the Moogles' invasion of Vulcan is complete.

At Mog's screat headquarters just outside Vector...

Mog: So, what have we to report?

KuZuki: We have begun our deprogramming project on the Vulcans. We have
already succeeded with one.

They bring in a tall, black haired Vulcan.

Vulcan: I am Mr. Spock. I lick people.

Mog laughs.

Mog: Excellent! Continue the work.

He then wheels back to the table.

Mog: Alright. Enough planetary invasions. Let's get to business.

A Moogle soldier runs in.

Soldier: Emperor! The Dark Lord's apprentice is here!

Mog: Send him in!

Cartman and his five black lizar guard walk in.

Mog: Hey.. I figured you'd be... taller.

Cartman: Ehhhh...

Mog: Well, anyway, take a seat.

Cartman sits down.

Mog: Alright. This is the plan. Vector is gonna stumble on us soon. I am told
that Cartman here managed to take out the Empress Terra, and the majority of
Vector's Army has dispersed as a result. This is the time to take Vector and
eliminate the threat.

Cartman: Sweet.

The Lizar guards look around and growl. A Moogle Gal runs up.

MoogleGal: More coffee, gentlement?

One of the black lizar grabs her by the head (with it's teeth)

MoogleGal: EEEEK!

The Black Lizar goes into a corner and feeds on her.

Cartman: Don't mind them. They haven't eaten in awhile.

Mog: Jeepers. Take them to the cooler!

Several nervous moogleguards lead the remaining Black Lizars to the cooler
where they have the Ewok/Vulcan parts stored.

* * * * * * * * *

Vector...

In the throne room, on the throne sits Denar, Terra's son. Standing at the
door sits Ladice, his younger sister.

Denar: So, sister, you will of course be at my inaguration..

Ladice: Providing someone doesn't kill you first.

Denar: Good one. 

A soldier bursts in.

Soldier: Prince! Princess! We have moogles approaching!

Ladice: What!?!

Denar: Great. 

Ladice: Alright, I guess we have to fight. We'll lose miserably, but we can go
down fighting.

Denar: Hold your tounge!

Ladice: Excuse me?

Denar: I may not have been given the coat, but I am effectively now the
Emperor of Vector. You will take orders from me.

Ladice:  Alright, "Emperor", what do you suggest we do?

Denar: I am going to strike a deal with the moogles.

Ladice: Are you nuts? They'll tear us to shreds!

Denar: Not with how I have things planned.

Ladice: What? You're gonna give them Vector and be a puppet ruler?

Denar bolts up.

Denar: I will not tolerate such a tone, bitch. You can wait the battle out in
the dungeon. Guards! Take her away.

The Guards hesitate.

Denar:  If you will not escourt her to the dungeon, I will find someone
who will and send you to see Doctor Kefka!

Vicks: Fine, let's go.

They take her away.

* * * * * * * * *

The Moogles stand at the gates.

Mog: Alright everyone! Get ready to attack!

Denar rides out on a chocobo.

Denar: Wait!

Mog: What?

Denar: I have a proposition for you.

Mog: That being?

Denar: You may come and stay in Vector as our guests. 25% of the population is
yours to toy with. And revolters may be dealt with accordingly.

Mog: And?

Denar: I only ask that you consider yourselves guests and us as allies. I also
wish for you to share your bio-eingineering technology with our Dr. Kefka.

Mog: Hmm... Deal. Alright guys, march in.

And so the moogles "take" Vector.

* * * * * * * *

"Doctor" Kefka watched from the Magitek Lab window.

Kefka: Geeze.

He already was a tad insulted with his situation. He had awoken about a year
ago, only to find that no one had heard of the great Kefka. "Mog" was the
generally accepted maniac of the public. Not even the scholars recognized him.
It digusted him. However, he had been able to secure a role as a Magitek
scientist, and re-instigated the magitek research program. Unfortunetely, all
the regiments had disbanded and most of the armour was lost, until the
soldiers report back in.

And now, he had moogles to put up with.

* * * * * * * * * *

Cyan V read the report to his council.

Cyan had taken the time to form a War Council. On it was GoGo, Kat, Fonzie,
Michael Jordan and Adolf Hitler. They sat around, and listened to it.

Cyan: It appears that the moogles have taken control of Vector. Danar has sold
out to them.

GoGo: And what the fuck happened to the motherfucking princess?

Cyan: Apparantly, as a symbol of the new alliance, she is to be given to Mog.

Fonzie: Eh! We can't do that man! Ehhh!

Kat: I agree. We need her tactical help.

Adolf: Zeig Hail!

They all look at him.

Cyan: What does that have to do with anything?

Adolf: Zeig Hail!

Cyan sighs.

Cyan: Anyway... our only hope is to break her out. We need someone famous, but
not conspicuous or regarded as a threat.

All eyes fall on Kat.

(Spacy, your turn)


From: RaumKatze2@aol.com


Kat: Famous but not conspicuous?  Yeah, that's me alright.  So how do I go 
breaking her out?

Hitler: Seig Heil!

Gogo (ignoring Hitler): Well, what you've got to fucking do first is disauise 
yourself as a motherfucking Vector guard.  We've got a facsimile uniform you 
can wear, motherfucker.

Kat: Hey!

Gogo: That's just the fucking way I talk.  Fuckin' deal with it!  Anyway, 
then you've got to motherfucking sneak into the back entrance of the Palace.  
 It's never fucking locked.  Then you go into the dungeon and tell the guard 
on duty there that his shift is over.  If he doesn't buy that, then kill him. 
 If that doesn't work, then tell him there is a sale at Eli's Chocolate Barn. 
 Word on the motherfucking street is that he has a weakness for chocolate.

Kat: How about if I use the chocolate thing as plan B and only kill him as a 
last resort.

Gogo: Sure, what the fuck ever.

Cyan: Fare thee well, young maiden.  May you returneth alive.

Hitler: Seig Heil!

Smura: I'll go with you.

Kat: But wouldn't you be too conspicuous?  You could blow my cover.

Smura: Check this out!

Smura slowely disappeared until only his large grin was visible, a la the 
Cheshire Cat.

-----

Later...

Kat (disguised as a guard): Hey Guard!  You're shift is...

Guard: Hey!  Aren't you that chick in those car insurance commercials?

Kat: WHY YOU!!  AH KEEL U!!!

Guard: Awk!  I thought that was you're last resort!

Kat: Oh right.  Well, there's a 2-for-1 sale at Eli's chocolate barn.

Guard: Cool!  Hey, wait a minute.  There is no such store as Eli's Chocolate 
Barn!

Kat: Stupid Gogo...

Guard: You know, I'm going to have to arrest you for impersonating a soldier.

Kat: Um, WHAT'S THAT BEHIND YOU?!?!??!

Guard: That's a disembodied grin.  It came here with you.  I'm afraid I will 
have to arrest both of you.

Smura: What did I do?

Guard: Impersonating Jon Lovitz, poorly I might add.

With that, he threw Kat and Smura into the same cell as the Princess.  What 
will happen now??


From:	His Dark Lordship 


Ladice: Wow. That was skillful.

Kat: Shut up.

Smura reforms into his full self.

Smura: So what do we do?

Ladice: Doesn't really matter. In two hours I'm going to be given as an
offering to Mog by my unclefucking brother Danar.

Smura: You're the only two kids in the family?

Ladice: Well, Danar had a twin brother once. My late parents disowned him
because he was hitting on everything that moved. Haven't seen him since...

Kat: What's his name?

Ladice: It was Da-

The Soldier comes in.

Soldier: Ladice, your transferment has been moved up a bit since Mog is
getting especially horny. You are to be given as an offering now. You other
two cat-people can join her.

The soldier (and some buddies) begin to haul them out at spearpoint.

Kat: Crap. I almost wish that I was back on the set with Leonardo DiCaprio...

Soldiers:  You know Leonardo DiCaprio!?!

Kat: Ummm.. yes. Why?

Soldier: He is SOOO hot!

Soldier: I want his ass...

Kat: Really? Well, I have some nude shots of the sex scenes we were doing on
the film right here...

The soldiers leen in, and Kat swipes her claws across their faces.

Soldiers:  AUUUUGH! MY EYES!!!

Smura: Let's move!

The spacecats and Ladice race down the halls. Emerging from the dungeon, they
duck into an alley and avoid the horde of moogles gathering in the square.

They do, however, stop to watch.

Mog emerges.

Mog: I now take the Princess Ladice as my Queen in mark of this alliance!

Danar: Ummm... Mog.. she's escaped, apparantly. Some cat people broke her out.

Mog: Hmmm.. damn it! I got this rock hard boner and I need to use it on
something!

Mog spots a nice young gal sorting through some things in the market. He
points at her. Several Moogles grab her and haul her up to the stage, where
she is tied to the alter. Mog smiles.

Mog: You will be my offering!

Mog then strips her and proceeds to kupo her to death while she screams.

Ladice: My people... my poor people.

Kat: There's nothing we can do.. we need to get you back to Doma...

(Here you go Spacy)