Subj: [ffml] [MW][unofficial] Dancin' in the Dark... Date: 00-03-12 18:31:15 EST From: patszostak@juno.com (Patrick Szostak) Reply-to: ffml@onelist.com To: ffml@onelist.com From: Patrick Szostak A few weeks pass while Pantaloons considers his options...then he realizes that there really aren't any. {Pantaloons}: Okay, I'll go with you. {Selena}: Alright then, let's be on our way. Selena leads Pantaloons and the five lizard soldiers through the Fuzzy Bunny Fields on their way to the Suitably Dramatic Forests which lead into the Dark Lord's realm. {Selena}: The Suitably Dramatic Forests are just ahead of us. We'll be in my Lord's domain in no time. {Pantaloons}: He has candy, right? {Selena}: Um...I don't think so... {Pantaloons}: Aw, geez louise! {Lizard Soldier}: Lady Selena, something sinister approaches... {Selena}: [looks off into the distance] What IS that thing? {Pantaloons}: Ha! Don't worry about a thing, uh...lady. You just stick by me, and-- {Selena}: Pig!! [proceeds to kick the bejeezus out of Pantaloons] Soldiers! Help me out here! {Lizard Soldier}: Lady Selena, perhaps we should pay more attention to the scary thing on the horizon. {Selena}: Say...isn't that...oh no! The fearsome Fuzzy Reaper of Fuzzy Bunny Plains!! {Lizard Soldier}: Sweet Sassy Molassy!! {Pantaloons}: Eeeek! [hops into Selena's arms] {Lizard Soldier}: Aww, it's so adorable! {Selena}: Adorably terrifying! Be careful! {Pantaloons}: Yes! Form a living shield around me! Carefully! {Selena}: Ugh. Just kill that thing, will you? The five lizard soldiers charge towards the Fuzzy Reaper, and are instantly decapitated. The fuzzy reaper eats their eyeballs, and then sets its sights on Selena and Pantaloons. {Selena}: C'mon! You're supposed to be a mysterious orphan who has amnesia, right? Hence some sort of super powers? Go get that thing! {Pantaloons}: Um...well, I'd like to, it's just that I...uh, I'm very fragile, and... {Selena}: [drops Pantaloons on the ground] Just get going! {Pantaloons}: Do I get a kiss for good luck? {Selena}: [mutters something obscene] {Pantaloons}: Aww, that was unnecessary...Alright, Fuzzy, time for me to kill you! Wacky Monkey Two-Step!! The Fuzzy Reaper of Fuzzy Bunny Plains is pelted with a bunch of monkeys for some reason. He remains unfazed. {Pantaloons}: Uh oh...well, time to bring out the big guns. Pantaloons Shuffle!! Pantaloons busts a move and cuts a rug in the general vicinity of the Fuzzy Reaper, who, along with Selena and the remains of the lizard soldiers, are dazed by the sheer zaniness of the dance. {Pantaloons}: Aha! I've got you now, my evil fuzzy friend! Time to finish you off! Pantaloons takes out his Sewing Machine Attached to a Long Iron Pole and sends the Fuzzy Reaper flying into low earth orbit. {Selena}: [dazed] ...um, right. Good job. It seems that my Lord was right about you. Let's keep going. We've almost reached the Dark Lord's realm. ****************Captain Wacky***************** Date: 00-03-22 14:42:35 EST From: His Dark Lordship Pantaloons grinned. The Soldiers replaced their eyes and continued on. Slowly, the proceeded through the black valley (earlier travelled through by E'ris.) and came to the Forsaken Village. Selena insisted they bypass that and went straight to the black keep. Pantaloons: Woah! Sweet castle! Selena: It is, isn't it. The gates swung open for them, and they passed through. A figure shrouded in black slipped in before the gates closed. It quickly scampered off in another direction. Pantaloons: Did you hear anything? Selena: Nope. Pantaloons sighed in relief. Slowly, they strolled through the well carpeted castle. The entire place had a real erie feel about it. They finally arrived at the tower. Pantaloons: Aw man, we have to hike up a tower? Voice: Well, child, every lord of evil has to live at the top of a tower. The party whirled about. There was the Dark Lord. Pantaloons: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! DL: Thank you Selena. You have done well. You may retire for the night. Selena and the soldiers nodded, and disapeared in a puff of smoke. DL: Now then, Pantaloons, as you go by, walk with me. The Lord of Darkness began to stroll up the stairway. Pantaloons quickly rushed up beside him. Pantaloons: So, Lordy D, how am I the 'one'. DL: You will find out, little one. But first, I must ask you, you claim to have mysterious powers, yet you don't know what they are. Pantaloons: Of course. As you know, I am Pantaloons Angstfish, the mysterious orphan who has amnesia. DL: Yet I have observed you at the collesium. So you must have some idea what your mysterious power is. Pantaloons: Well, I have the Pantaloons shuffle. THe DL grinned. DL: I think you are in store for quite a surprise. They reached the Dark Lord's doorway. The swung open. Pantaloons strolled in. The Lord of Darkness slowly sat in his throne, a large set of ferocious jaws. Pantaloons: Man, this place is so cool! DL: Aye. Very well, Pantaloons, you wish to know what the one is? Pantaloons: Yeah. DL: You are the one, the one with the energy. I have observed your odd antics for centuries, and I know for certain. You have the internal prowess to be my champion. Pantaloons: A Champion of Darkness? Coooool. Do I get any candy. DL: Later. Pantaloons: What? No candy? DL: I will have to wisk some up later. Right now, you must understand. Pantaloons: I want candy! DL: Okay, silence. Pantaloons: Gimme freaking candy, Darky! THe DL stood up, his nostrils flaring. DL: How *DARE* you speak to me in such an insolent tone! Pantaloons: Woah, woah, easy there. I thought you said I was the 'one'? DL: That doesn't make you priceless. Pantaloons: Oh, okay... I'll behave. DL: Good. Now, as I was saying, you will have to go through severe ascetic training, and your true power will be awakened. Pantaloons: Ascetic? What's that? And where's my candy? DL: SHould you mention Candy one more time... Pantaloons: What? Is it that hard to give a guy some Candy? DL: That's it! The DL stood up again. DL: Now, Pantaloons Angstfish, your existance will be truely demeaning. You will never know your identity, nor will you ever flourish in your true power! Pantaloons: Uh oh... this sounds like it could be bad. Suddenly, Pantaloons felt great pain. Pantaloons: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! The Dark Lord laughed. DL: Your 'mysterious powers' have been sealed. Now, learn your destiny! Enjoy the torture of this earth! Pantaloons: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Pantaloons felt his body disapearing. And then, all went black. Elsewhere, at an empty convention building... Cabbit walks around the circle of the remaining members of the Cheese in Pants group. Cabbit: Duck... Duck... He came over Lady Paladin. Cabbit: GOOSE! Lady Paladin bolted up and the pair raised around the circle. Lady Paladin reached her spot. Cabbit: God dammit! Why do I always end up being 'it'? Alan's sig: ...... Alan: What Sig? You're saying because CAbbit sucks royal ass? Cabbit: Okay, Alan, I'm gonna kill your sig. Suddenly, in the centre of the circle, a figure emerged, passed out. Alan: Holy mother of god! It's Pat! Pantaloons: Uhhhhhh.... Oh no! Is Pantaloons dead!?! Is the Cheese in Pants cult stuck in this world forever? Does the Dark Lord have PMS? Find out about all these questions, excluding the last one, in the next fantastic chapter! -- The eternal lord of darkness... Date: 00-03-23 00:34:30 EST From: Reverend Andrew Ferguson Cabbit: PAT! Wanna play Duck Duck Goose? You hafta be it though. Frosty: Don't mind him, glorious leader, he jsut sucks so much ass that there's no other way he's not gonna be it. A few minutes of silence pass as the CiPC members look expectantly at their leader. Alan: Why aren't you saying anything, Pat? All of a sudden, God himself enters the room... through the window. God: You see Alan, Pat can't respond because the author doesn't want to anger the Dark Lord by fudging up his plot. Therefore he can't say anything at all. Alan: Well that sucks. And so does the author. And quit calling me son, I'm not Christian (Authors Note: Alan, are you?) or anything. God: Sorry, well, now that I've solved this, do you have any more questions? Cabbit: What's the meaning of life? God: 42. Cabbit: 42? God: 42. Cabbit shrugs and sits there, silently contemplating this great riddle's answer. God: Is that it? I was kicking Gabriel's ASS at GT2. That little bugger better not've unpaused the game or there'll be hell to pay. Alan's Sig: ... Alan: Whats that sig? You want to invite God to play 'Hide and Go Seek' with us? God: Well... GT2 can wait, I'd love to. So the CiPC members and God exit wherever they are (God leaves via the window) and go outside to play Hide and Go Seek. Cabbit: Not it! Alan's Sig: ... Alan: Whats that sg? you say you're not it? well neither am I. Frosty: Not it! Andre the Giant's Rotting Corpse: Not it! God: Not it! Lady Paladin: oh dammit. I'm always it. Lady Paladin sighs and leans against a tree covering her eyes to count to 60, while everyone else hides. Lady Paladin looks up and sees NO ONE. There is that telltale white glow around a nearby car that tells her God's hiding under it. Lady Paladin: READY OR NOT HERE I COME! Lady Paladin runs around a bit trying to find other people, but failing that, she goes over to the car, peeks under and sees God. Lady Paladin: FOUND YOU! God's it! God: oh dammit. God squirms out from under the car and goes to count on the tree. Once he finishes counting he looks about, seeing no one, he decides to be cheap. God annihilates everything in the universe except for Cabbit, Frosty, Lady Paladin, Alan and his sig. God: FOUND YOU! Yer all it! CiPC members: CHEATER! Cabbit: hey could you undo some of this destory everything? I think the dark lord needed pat and you annihilated him. God: oh... uhm... God runs off into the distance as fast as he can, leaving the Dark Lord to figure out how to make the universe reappear. ---------------------------- OBEY THE PENGUIN! ---------------------------- The Mighty Kawaii_Cabbit[BOFH] AKA Jesus Christ Sex Messiah, AKA Kari-Ohki, AKA CabbitServ, AKA Sexdeath, AKA too many names guy. Subj: [ffml] [MW] Rebuilding the Universe. =P Date: 00-03-23 02:03:21 EST From: His Dark Lordship Twas 22-Mar-00, whence Reverend Andrew Ferguson didst dost proclaimeth to me... > God: You see Alan, Pat can't respond because the author doesn't want to > anger the Dark Lord by fudging up his plot. Therefore he can't say > anything at all. Actually, that was an attempt to get me out of it and let y'all do what you please. =/ > Alan: Well that sucks. And so does the author. And quit calling me son, > I'm not Christian (Authors Note: Alan, are you?) or anything. Uhhh... Alan is a rather heavy Christian. =) > God runs off into the distance as fast as he can, leaving the Dark Lord > to figure out how to make the universe reappear. The Dark Lord stared at the endless void before him. "Grah... that son of a bitch." he grumbled. "You bearded old loonie, why can't you leave us material gods to handle things?" He shook his head. He couldn't exactly expend all his energy. That would make him too weak and open to attack from the other beings. But, a combined effort would keep their powers at relatively the same level, and keep the universe in balance. Knowing that God had destroyed everything except him, Loltrek, Rktktos and those silly cheese in pants members, he quickly came to the decision that, in a timeless void material sense had no meaning, and thus, finding his counterparts would either be easy or near impossible, depending on the way it was handled. Thanatos of course, knew what to do, and soon all three minds met. "You know what is required." said Thanatos. "Aye." said Rktktos, the Grey One. Loltrek's essence said nothing. His stand was already known. And so, showing the immense power between the three, the universe re-took shape. The three re-assumed their material forms, standing atop a great peak. All three stared at each other. And then, wordlessly, they were gone. Elsewhere, back where the Cheese in Pants Cult was playing hide & seek. "Please, please forgive me for my insolence in the last post!" prayed Alan. "You're forgiven." said God. "Damn..." said the Cabbit. "We just experienced the entire universe ceasing to exist and then reforming at that exact second. I wonder if anyone will believe us?" "I doubt it. Everyone else was destroyed." commented Lady Paladin. "Damn." -- The eternal lord of darkness... "And if our dreams sometimes come true, then what of our nightmares?" -GM of FF2c -Member in good standing of Sky's Posse ICQ UIN# 23424269 IRC Nicks: TheDarkLord, GannondorfDragmire, occasionally Blackthorne System: Amiga 4000/040 Cybervision64 & Opalvision ---INTEL/MICROSOFT FREE---