Subj: [ffml] [MW] The Leaders of Tomorrow? (CitP cult members, read this!) Date: 00-02-03 11:58:32 EST From: RaumKatze2@aol.com Reply-to: ffml@onelist.com To: ffml@onelist.com From: RaumKatze2@aol.com "Alright, Agents," Kulog said to Gork, Vulg, Blog and Snot, "Now that you've somehow managed to pass our rigerous training, it's time for your first mission. Slide." Ivana killed the lights, and activated the slide projector. The image that was projected on the screen was that of a young-looking man, wearing a sombraro. "That," said Kulog, "is Pat. He was once investigated by our group before over the issue of whether he was given immortality, or he traveled through time. None of our agents were able to find any hard evidence that he violated continuity, and the case was closed. Slide." The next slide showed a group of people and a sig. Kulog explained, "This is Frosty, Alan, Cabbit and any other people Pat may have callously forgotten about. They are members of a "Cheese in the Pants" Cult. We have received reports that they have been spotted at a Convention for People who Talk Slowly about Incredibly Boring Things, which is being held in the conference hall of the Kohlingen Inn. They'll leave the light on for ya'!" "What did you say?!" said Ivana. "I... That's not what I meant to say." "I think I know what's going on" said Ivana, "Someone must be exerting some sort of mind control on some people in this dimension... With the Acme brand Mind-Controller! Nothing gets the job done better!" Ivana then went to a computer terminal and pressed some keys. "Alright, that's better," she said, "I've made it so that mind control does not affect any agents of the Continuity Police. Anyway, Kulog, you were saying?" "Thank you Ivana. This group, so we've heard, has travelled in time from the time of Moogle War II. Slide." The next slide showed a knight holding an impressive sword. "This is the Paladin and master General, Alan, who was a notable figure in the first and second Moogle Wars. He is said to reside in a secluded glen, where he has lead a quiet existence since Moogle War II. The problem is, how can he already have been existing in this time if he travelled here from the past. There are a few plausible explanations that are possible. One is that the Alan who travelled here from the past eventually will go back in time, and then take up residence in his secluded glen, where he will live for another 600 years. Another possibility is that the Alan who was spotted at the convention is actually a different Alan from a parallel dimension. If it were not for Pat's past questionable continuity, we would not open this investigation, but we feel that given Pat's history, and ambiguous continuity issues regarding his associates should be looked into. Another issue to look into is this so-called Cheese in the Pants cult. We have seen no record of its existence. We would like you to verify its past existence. Lights." Ivana turned on the lights. "Now, you four are going to be a team. You will need to choose a team leader. The leader will make the tough decisions. Which of you is willing to bear this heavy responsibility?" All but Vulg took a step back. "Congradulations, Vulg. You are the team leader. Now, there's one more thing I need to tell you four before you go on your first mission, please remember to keep a low profile at all costs. For thousands of years this organization has maintained a veil of secrecy. You four better not blow it for us!" "You got it!" said Vulg. The four black-suited monsters pressed the buttons on their lapels, and were beamed up to the convention center. Upon appearing at their destination, Vulg said, "What were we supposed to be doing here, again?" "I don't know," said Snot, "But it looks like this boring party needs some life put into it. You know what that means!" "Karaoke!" they all said in unison. (Someone else pick things up from here. Any questions about the backstory? Consult my page at http://Spacecat2.tripod.com.) Subj: [ffml] [CiPC] [MW?] Moonlight Rambler Date: 00-02-03 15:34:36 EST From: Andrew Ferguson Author's Notes: This is my first post, if it sucks, let me know so I can improve. I'm not sure if CiPC fits into Moogle Wars yet but it seems to. And if I'm screwing us all into a corner, you can make it not exist or something. Anyways, enough with the humility crap, time to become master of the universe. ***************** Moonlight Rambler ***************** (CiPC Members): AUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! (Cabbit proceeds to slump to the ground screaming "THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!") (Boring Sounding Man): Well... I guess... it could... err... actually be *sigh* happening... but it's... far too *yawn* exciting for... uhm... us to talk about. (Alan): Yes it is. Now give me that Dust-B-Gone brand duster, when you want dust to disappear, you better use Dust-B-Gone. (Cabbit hands Alan the duster, accidently poking out a conventioneers eye in the process. No biggie.) (Frosty): Uhm, Alan? What the hell was that? Don't make me pelt you with marble cheese this time. (For no apparent reason, but probably for an unapparent one, Michael Jackson bursts out of the boring crowd, grab's Sig's crotch and moonwalks over to Frosty) (At least half of the conventioneers faint from too much excitement, and they are dutifully ignored by the other half who are in shock.) (Alan's Sig): .......... (Alan): What's that sig? You like the feel of the rhinestones? That's more than we need to know, Sig. (The Author leaves to go get cookies and the characters stand around and do nothing for a few minutes. They fit in rather well at the convention for a few minutes.) (Michael Jackson): I need your guys help, the universe has been infected with forced advertising by Beel Z. Bub himself. Are you bad enough dudes to stop him? (Alan): If you don't mind my asking, how can you be sure of all this without being subjected to a 4EverTrue Lie Detector Test? Only 4EverTrue Lie Detector Test's can tell you wehterh or not your spouse has been faithful or if your dog really did dig up Mister Chesterfield's garden. Only $99.95 at your local store. (Cabbit): I think that speaks for itself. Those lie detector tests are useful though. Well, Mikey, how do you know? (Michaelangelo of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles wearing a large $19.95 price tag bursts out of the crowd and stands next to Michael Jackson) (Michaelangelo): Cowabunga, dude! (Frosty): Cab, you're just an accident waiting to happen aren't you? (Cabbit): Shut up. (Cabbit's anguished reply to Frosty hits the proper resonance with a light fixture that falls and crushes one of the shocked conventioneers.) (Michael Jackson): Uhm.. err... *stutters nervously* (Michael Jackson grabs Michaelangelo, hops into his spaceship and flies off to parts unknown. well they might be known, but they didn't leave a forwarding address and it's more dramatic this way.) (The CiPC members do a collective simultaneous blink and boggle.) (Suddenly, in a burst of blue energy in an empty space in the convention hall, a group of four mysterious figures dressed in black appear.) (Cabbit): OH MY GOD! IT'S THE KEANU REEVES CLONES! (Cabbit promptly hides behind a rather plump convention member.) Are they truly an unholy army of Keanu Reeves clones? Or maybe they're just shadow puppets? To find out, tune in next time, same Pat-time, same Pat-channel! ---------------------------- The Mighty Kawaii_Cabbit[BOFH] AKA Jesus Christ Sex Messiah, AKA Kari-Ohki, AKA CabbitServ, AKA Sexdeath, AKA too many names guy. --Official Cabbit of IBOTTS --Lord High Ruler of Cabbit's Crew --Nymphomaniac Extrodinare/Official Cabbit of the Cheese in Pants Cult --Lord of the Dance --The God of Secks I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. "The hand is quicker than the eye. Nobody's looking, how about a handjob?" --Anonymous Kryten: Sir! They've taken Mr. Rimmer! Cat: Quick, let's get out of here before they bring him back! -Red Dwarf "A nymphomaniac is simply someone who has more sex then you do" --Kinsey