Subj: [ffml] [MW] The dark force
Date: 00-01-31 15:20:59 EST
From: agover@xoommail.com (Aaron Gover)
Reply-to: ffml@onelist.com
To: ffml@onelist.com
From: Aaron Gover
(I would just like to note that while this is
happening "now" in the MW3, it happens *after* my
next post which will deal exclusively with evil
Vincent.)
In a building somewhere in the midwest of the
united state, the executive board of Universal
Amalgamated Conglomerated Industries International
Limited sat restlessly through the suprise meeting
called by Mr. Beel Z. Bub, the CEO of UACIIL.
Beel appearead at the head of the table as he
always did, in a flash of intense heat and a smell
of sulfur. He was wearing his usual blood-red
business suit and waving the usual loaded .45
Automatic.
"Gentlemen! You may be wondering why I called
this meeting," he began.
The entire board, except for three newcomers,
Smith, Smithson, and Smidth (the 'd' is silent)
who looked at eachother.
"Well, yes," Smidth (silent 'd') stood up and
said, rather indignatly, "I was wondering why I
was pulled away from my important work this
morning."
"Good! I like inquisitiveness in my
underlings." replied Mr. Bub, who promptly shot
Smidth (silent 'd') in between the eyes.
The body was immediately removed by two
janitors whos only job was to do just that.
"Anyway," Bub continued, "our dilemma is quite
simple. We need somewhere new to advertise. We
have already saturated every possible market on
the face of the planet. The buddists are wearing
Nike logos on their robes, the Pope is including
specific brand names when he gives thanks for our
daily bread, and the American flag now has a Mt.
Dew logo in the center. To increase revenue, we
must find somewhere else to advertise, and I think
that Mr. Smith-Smithson has found it. Mr.
Smith-Smithson, would you please enlighten us and
introduce us to your Green Armored companion
there?"
Mr. Smith-Smithson, a balding businessman
indistinguishable from the rest of the board
members and walked to the head of the table,
flanked by a thin yet muscular man in green plate
mail.
"Yes," began Smith-Smithson, "we have in fact
found a new area to advertise. An alternate
dimension called the 'Moogle War Universe' is wide
open to advertising, and with the help of my
companion here and the late Mr. Smidth (silent
'd'), we have come up with an almost unbeatable
strategy for advertising in this new market, which
will now be explained by Mr. Vincent."
Smith-Smithson stepped down from the head of
the table and allowed Vincent to take the floor.
"The deal is simple. I will use my immense
powers -- unknown on your world -- to actually
insinuate advertising into every conversation and
event to occur on my world. No battle, party,
speech, or threat would be able to occur without
some sort of sponsorship or commercial angle. War
banners will feature company slogans and logos.
Travelling troubadors will only be able to play
catchy commercial jingles. Random people will
suddenly break into convincing testimonials about
products that they had previously not known about.
Yes, this will be an advertising landfall for your
causes, and I only ask relatively minor boons in
advance."
Mr. Bub was clearly interested, yet maintained
his waryness of this stranger.
"And what," he asked, "would that be?"
"Weapons. I need many of your advanced
weapons. I have spent the morning looking at
catalogs, and have made some initial selections. I
want 5,000 AK-47's, 300 Anti-Tank TOW missles with
launchers, 100 Apache helicopters, 40 T-1 battle
tanks and a few other goods which are well within
your powers to grant."
Mr. Bub threw caution to the wind.
"Done! When can we expect your plan to take
effect? When will the Moogle War World be infested
with involuntary advertising."
Vincent closed his eyes and began to incant
softly. After a few seconds, he opened his eyes.
"Now." he replied with a smile.
* * *
"Ash! Ash! Wake up, you lout!" Chaerii was
pounding on the door of Ash's room.
Ash opened the door, squinting and obviously
suffering from a massive hangover. Chaerii pushed
past him.
"Damn you, Ash, we've been at this inn for
over two weeks!! We know where the book is, why
don't we quit stalling and go get it?!"
"Could you quiet down," he groaned, "Im trying
very hard to die right now."
"Ash, do you have a headache this big?"
"What are you talking about?" Ash said,
momentarily fogetting his troubles. He noticed
that he was now seeing everything in black and
white.
Chaerii held out her hand. On her palm rested
two yellow pills -- the only thing Ash could see
that was in color.
"Small, yellow, different. Nuprin." said
Chaerii, who then looked stunned at what had just
come out of her mouth.
"Chaerii, what the HELL is going on?"
"Ash, I don't know why I just said that or
what it means!"
"It means things just got a hell of a lot
worse, babe."
[To be continued, as well as slightly prologued.]
--Vincent Valintine aka Professor Daravon
http://happythoughts.8m.com
Feed the homeless to the starving.
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Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2000 12:18:18 -0800
From: Aaron Gover
Reply-to: ffml@onelist.com
Subject: [ffml] [MW] The dark force
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