Subj:	 [ffml] [MW] Tip of the Iceberg
Date:	00-01-29 15:24:53 EST
From:	RaumKatze2@aol.com
Reply-to:	ffml@onelist.com
To:	ffml@onelist.com

From: RaumKatze2@aol.com

     "He speaks in symbols few can understand."
          -Robbie Fulks

     Vincent awoke.  His head hurt, again.  "How long was I out?" he said.  
Then he noticed that Pat, the person he had traveled here with was gone.  
"Alright, that's it," he said, "No more of this time travel crap for me."  He 
tossed the porno trigger into a nearby river where it quickly sank.  This was 
a rash action, but Vince told himself that it was for the best.  If one 
travels through time too much, its only a matter of time before they 
inadvertently seduce their own grandmother.  
     Then Vince spotted a note on the ground.  He read it:

 Dear Good Vincent,
      I have lost my memory and have decided to pursue a career in 
professional   
 wrestling.
 
 Indubitably,
      Pat

     "How strange," said Vincent, "I wonder why he called me Good Vincent..." 
 He trailed off when he heard cries of distress from a nearby forest.  He ran 
in the direction of the screaming.  Upon entering the forest, he found a man 
who had been caught in a bear trap.  "You've gotta help me!" said the man, 
"Some bad people are chasing me!"
      "Um, okay, I'll help you," said Vincent.  He opened up the trap.  The 
man got up right away and started to run off.  "Wait!" said Vincent, "I 
should take you to a doctor.  Where are you going so fast??"
     "To, um, commit certain deeds," said the man.
     Night began to fall.  Vince decided these woods were no place to be at 
night, especially with 'bad people' up and about, so he left the woods and 
went to the nearest town, Kohlingen.  He had more than enough money to stay 
for a night at the Inn, so he did.  

     As he soaked in the tub, Vincent thought about what he would do with his 
life now that his wild adventures were over.  This town seemed like a good 
place to settle down and make a life for himself in.  Perhaps he could set up 
shop as a blacksmith.  When he was finished bathing, he got up, dried off, 
and thought about how nice it would be to live a simple life in this town, 
which so far had been untouched by the war which raged in other parts of the 
world.

     The next morning, after a good night's sleep, he opened his room door 
and saw a newspaper, The Kohlingen Examiner, laying by the thresh hold.  
"This place really is full-service," Vince said to himself.  He picked up the 
paper, and tucked it under his arm.  He went to the front desk, and paid, and 
then went to the local cafe, where he ordered a cup of coffee and a Danish.  
He opened up the paper, and read as he ate breakfast.  He read the movie 
reviews section first:

 Moogle War II: The Movie (zero stars)
 
      Only once in a great while does a movie come along that is so horribly 
bad that
 it deserves zero stars.  In fact, it is movies like this that make us movie 
reviewers
 long for a rating that is below zero stars.  Let me explain how bad this is. 
 It
 makes Ed Wood look like Martin Scorsese.  
      They say that if you chain a thousand monkeys to a thousand 
typewriters, they
 will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespear.  It would be more 
likely
 that they would churn out something like this movie's script, which is 
convuluted,
 hackneyed, and incomprehensible.  Though the most absurd thing about this
 movie is the fact that they tried to cover up for the absence of Kat, who was
 supposed to play Lady Paladin, by replacing her with footage of a 
blue-haired boy
 saying, "Jimminy Jillickers!"

     "Sounds like that movie would have good misting value," Vince chuckled.  
He turned to Local News.  When he saw the top story, he spit out his coffee.  
He saw a picture of the man he rescued the previous day, with the following 
caption: Serial Killer eludes FBI.  Four more found dead."  Vince had lost 
his appitite.