Subj: [ffml] [MW] Happy B-Day Celes and Retreat & Conquer
Date: 99-02-14 19:39:06 EST
From: patszostak@juno.com (Patrick Szostak)
Reply-to: ffml@onelist.com
To: ffml@onelist.com
CC: DruidKait@aol.com
From: Patrick Szostak
In the Moogle's Camp, inside General Pat's tent...
{Pat}: (playing a SNES game) Ahahahaha! That's right, evil soldiers,
retreat! Escape from my wrath now, while you still can! So shall I
crush my real life enemies, too! Gosh I love Ogre Battle!
{Kamog}: Well, that's very good, General, but the fact remains that we
haven't done anything yet.
{Pat}: Hmm, that's a clever observation Kamog, but--huh?
Pat checks his calender.
{Pat}: Hey! It's Celes's birthday! I suppose I'm too busy with this war
nonsense to pay her a visit, but I could make her one of those nifty
video cards! Shitake, Truffle, Biff! Get my camera equipent and meet me
outside the tent.
Pat's mushroom advisors get his video equipment in place, while Pat puts
on his costume (a pair of tight shorts) and gets ready to strut his
stuff.
{Pat}: (to camera) Okay, this goes out to Celes, to whom I want to wish a
happy birthday. Ready, boys? One, two, three! Haaappy Birthday to
you....
As Pat sings "Happy Birthday", he does a sexy dance, with much muscle
flexing and ass shaking.
{Pat}: ...toooo yoouuuu...! Okay, boys, that's a wrap!
{Truffle}: Shall I send this tape to Celes?
{Pat}: Yes, do that please. I wish I could see the look on her face when
she sees this!
At Celes's house, a little while later....
{Celes}: (curled up in a little ball, rocking back and forth) ...........
{Celes's Friend}: (to psychiatrist) She's been like this since the mail
came! Dr. Geist, I don't know what's wrong with her!
{Dr. Geist}: Let us zee here. Aha! It vould appear that your friend haz
experienced a great shock, or zome other horribly traumatic
experience....Say, what is this tape?
Back at the Moogle Camp....
{Pat}: So, Kamog, exactly how much land is currently under my command?
{Kamog}: Well, sir, no one really knows.
{Pat}: Huh? Whaddya mean?
{Kamog}: It's been an awfully long time since anyone's done anything in
the Moogle War, so no one is quite sure who owns what.
{Pat}: Well then, we'd better start a campaign to liberate those innocent
cities from the hands of our enemies!
{Kamog}: Sounds good.
{Pat}: So for now, let's retreat from this place and set up our main
headquarters in Matango. After all, no one can go through that forest
without getting lost except me. And I'm drunk most of the time!
The Moogles and Mushrooms load up all their weapons, anime, and barrels
of sake and travel back to Matango, where they party like
it's....something good. Aw, give me a break! I can't think of clever
metaphors all the time!
**********Brave Fencer Pat**********
--High Priest of the Sacred Order of the Cheese in Pants
--5th Decon of the SCG
--Master of Disguise
--Producer of "Fireworks of Love" for the CotMoHW
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Subject: [ffml] [MW] Happy B-Day Celes and Retreat & Conquer