Mr. Sorenson vs. DM
Mr. Sorenson vs. DM

His Dark Lordship

OOC: Seeing as everyone else is writing one of these I figure I will too.


Mr. Sorenson, Bacca's principal janitor, cleaned out the outhouses on a continual daily basis of his dead end job. Some kids walked past him in their muddy footwear.

"Eh! Qweet diriyin my floar!"

"What did he say?"

"Beats me."

"AAARGH!" Mr. Sorenson was pissed. He picked up his mop and charged the kids, who screamed at the ghastly sight and ran, right into DM's troops, and died. Mr. Sorenson smashed right into the troop and began slaying people left and right. There was still the berserker instinct in the Swedes.

Dark Moogle looked down at this valiant and incredibly stupid janitor.

"Bring him to me. I wanna take him on."

The acolyte nodded and summoned some harpies. The next instant Mr. Sorenson was swinging his mop at thin air before the dark moogle.

"Well done! Now accept the ultimate challenge."

"Anathuh punk kid! Ma jobz nevah dun!"

"Very well. Scream as your head implodes into a pool of blood."

Nothing happened.

"Perhaps his eminence would like to recall that magic is useless around the peak." spoke the acolyte.

"I KNOW THAT!" yelled the Dark Moogle as he reached for his axe..

But, before he could, Mr. Sorensen yelled and started beating Dark Moogle senseless with his Mop.


"Arrgh!" Dark Moogle pushed him away. Mr. Sorenson responded by dumping a trash can on his head.

The Dark Moogle waddled about, trying to get the trash can off his head. Mr. Sorenson noticed a lot of mud between the dark moogle's toes.

"DIRTY SHOEZ!!! I HAVE TO CLEAN THIS HALL, YOU KNOW!!!" Mr. Sorenson threw Dark Moogle out a nearby window.



And so, Mr. Sorenson, the deranged Janitor of Idywylde, claimed the Ultimate Materia.

OOC: Just so I don't get a dozen messages from Chaos saying how this couldn't have happened...