Friends, Moogles, Countrymen... Lend Me Your Ear!
Friends, Moogles, Countrymen... Lend Me Your Ear!

The Northern Paladin
[this may not have happened]

Mog's moogle army..on the march:

"We are Moogles
Hear our Song
We kick some ass
And beat some schlong

We like to kill
we like to fight
We'll kupo you
'till Friday night!

We bring back queens
for our boss Mog
and then we sleep
just like a log!

We'll own the world
and then you'll see
we'ge gonna have
a BIG party!"

Mog is marching alongside his queens....ok, so they're carrying him on a pallet! So what? Same deal, pretty much! *L* Suddenly, a blue shimmer appears before him....

Mog: "What's that?'

Cloud: "Fireworks?"

Tifa: "Magic?"

The shimmer resolves itself into....


NP: "Yep, I'm back!"

Mog: "But...I thought...."

NP: "I'm just like a bad penny....I always turn up when you least expect me to.....YAAAAH!"

NP spins around and slices off Mog's ear with Whitefire!


Cloud rushes at him with is Buster Sword, which is cleanly sliced in two by Whitefire, and a sweep and an axe kick knocks him cold. Then Tifa leaps at NP with a wicked jump-kick..which NP ducks under, and shoves the hilt of his blade into her crotch, while driving a kick into Yuffie's knee. Tifa proceeds to land on Yuffie. Then Celes approaches, and NP parries her blade to his left, spins, and drives his elbow into her sternum, following up with a pop-up backfist to her face.

As Mog's queens begin to regroup, NP sheaths his sword, picks up Mog's severed ear, and grins from ear to ear.

NP: "Goodbye ladies...Mog, you fall under that, too! HA ha ha!"

As the queens begin to charge the paladin, the transporter effect captures him and he dematerializes....

Mog: "NOOOOOOOO!!!! You'll PAY for this!!!!!!"

Back aboard the Phoenix...

NP: "Ok, you know what to do with this, right?"

Scientist: "Yes, I'll take time, though."

NP: "Just don't hurt it..I want to add it to my trophy case."

Scientist: "No problem, sir...I guess you actually DID get a piece of Mog, huh?"

NP: :"You know, I never thought of it quite THAT way! Hahhahahah!"