The word came at midnight...
Something that people had been trying to prevent since the first war...
At 12:02 this morning, Aeris bore Mog a son. Half moogle, half human.
Mog<after smoking a dozen cuban cigars with the "guys">: Alright! My
moogle/human hybrid is now a reality! Soon we will march towards the human
nations and he shall lead us to victory!
Kupop: Umm... Mog, the child's only 17 hours old.
Mog: Oh yeah, maybe I was getting ahead of myself there. Okay, we're attacking
a Save on Foods so we can stock up on baby food.
Kumama: We're attacking a GROCERY STORE?
Dave Tomas: Okay, we'll stop by at Wendy's on the way back. They got pitas.
Mog: Where the hell'd you come from?
Mog: GET HIM!
Alan: "Now wait a minute! NOW YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR!!!"
With that, the enraged, Pita-loving, Dave Thomas Respecting (He's cool:-)
Paladin charges at the enemy army.
However, he suddenly realizes that that's kinda' a stupid idea.
Alan: "Wait a minute. That's a stupid idea."
He goes to get the body of Dave Thomas
Alan: "Ah-ha! Here's the body of Dave Thomas!"
He casts Life2 on Dave Thomas
Dave Thomas: "Huh? What happened? Have you tried our new spicy chicken
Alan: "Nope. Never had the chance"
Dave Thomas: "WHAT! Why you!"
Dave Thomas gets ready to punch Alan...But then Alan asks for a pita, and Dave
Thomas gives Alan a pita and calms down
Alan: "So, would you be interested in joining, and feeding our cause?"
Dave Thomas: "Sure! Here! Have another Pita!"
Alan: "No, that's quite enough allready."
Dave Thomas: "What is wrong with you, you moron!!!!!! Don't you like my
Dave Thomas: "Oh, Ok. Just checking. Here, have another pita..."
With that, the Paladin has received the help of Dave Thomas, and the entire
Alan: "Now those Moogles are gonna' get it! Don't mess with ANY of the places
I like to eat at!"
As the two arrange their new union, Bacca, holds off the Moogle
host. Running back and forth, slaying furry white beasts left and right,
the ground begins to get covered with corpses and blood.
Turning over his shoulder, Bacca yells, "Hey! Will you two get
your act together already?! This is kind of hard."
Alan and Dave look over and realize that the battle is still going
on. They high tale it back to the fortress. Bacca covers there retreat.
However, Bacca moves back too slow and realizes that he is
surrounded. Looking about, he smiles.
"Now this is a challenge," he says in a confident tone. "Who wants
to die first?"
With that, two moogles charge from different directions. Not
looking at either, Bacca side steps one way, then another, stabbing each
moogle in the face. As the rest slowly come forward to avenge their fallen
comrades, Bacca takes them down.
A severed head flies through the air and lands at Tojo Mojo's
Having opened a avenue of escape, Bacca makes his way to the
Leaping over the high battlements with seemingly superhuman power,
Bacca lands on the battlements. He looks around and checks to see that
Moogle Host is kept at bay. He then slumps against the ramparts, closes
his eyes, and slides to the ground. He sighs.
"That was hard," he moans slightly.
A soldier walks up and asks, "Are you okay, sir?"
Without opening his eyes, Bacca says, "Yes, I am. Fetch your
master, I wish to speak with him."
The soldier hurries away. A few minutes later, the lord of the
fortress approaches (BTW, who is in charge here?).
Bacca continues to lay against the rampart, with his swords to
either side of him.
"Who are you and why do you help us in this struggle?" asks the
"I am Bacca, High Lord of All that Kicks Ass," said the warrior
without even opening his eyes. "I fight not for you, but for the lady. I
may not agree with all you stand for or believe in, but when a beautiful
lady is involved, then I must come forward and aid her defense."
Bacca smiles. He then opens his eyes and looks up at the lord.
"NPaladin," said Bacca, "Where is the lady of the castle?"
Bacca smiles slightly and stands up. The soreness from his
exertions is evident as his legs have begun going stiff.
"I will return to the battle momentarily, but first, let me rest
and replenish myself.
"Hey, does she know shiatsu massage?"
So Mog's army, having replenished their magitek artillery and Moogleboars,
march forth to Save on Foods. They pass by Tojo Mojo and NPaladin having their
war, chuckle, and continue on.
NPaladin: Hey, Tojo...they're laughing at us...what do you say call a truce
long enough to slaughter these moogles, THEN resume killing each other?
Tojo: Hey... that was my idea... Yes... I will most definately ally with
you to fight Emporer Mog... Then I'll have to beat the crap outta you
for stealing my idea.
The Save on Foods grocery fanchise fought with all their hearts. Store clerks
charged into their ranks with grocery carts, baggage handlers threw bags of
frozen meat at the moogleboars, but it was all in vain. The store was
Having aquired enough groceries for awhile, Mog returns home. With the materia
stock he has hidden around various places, he mutates several moogles into
Moogleboars. To celebrate, he goes to see Aeris, but finds that she hasn't
recovered from the childbirth yet. So, he decides to go hunting for another
He consults his mystic psychic, Kurin, about who the hunt for.
He gets visions of a silver haired man, emerging from the lifestream with an
awesome japenese sword...
Mog: HE shall be my next queen. Prepare ourselves...
Miles away, Jaana is awakened from a fitful night of sleep by the same
She leaps out of bed, throws on her cape, grabs Masamune and walks into the
crisp night air.