Bloodthirsty Orkys Have Hearts of Gold
Bloodthirsty Orkys Have Hearts of Gold

His Dark Lordship

So they traveled along. Even though the ork fortress smelt worse than.. well.. it smelt bad, anyway, they were glad to finally get there because the ork they came with was trying to keep them entertained with his stories about old wars with elves and such, and he was pretty graphic.

They were allowed to take off their blindfolds, and gaped at the sight of this ork metropolis, ready to move at the slightest cause. They passed a huge pile of ork crap, which was being loaded into shells for the turd kannonz. Shortly after, they came across an ork brothel. Jaana looked at the naked ork women and grimaced. The orks had no sense of privacy, and these ork women were extremely ugly by her standards.

They were finally brought to Drugga, who sat on a throne made of various bones from various creatures. Chained to it, and sitting close by, was a scantily clad Lady Daligua.

"Ah, yer doaz 'umie chikz. Awright, now, tell me da wot yar doin' at kryzta' peek?"

"Searching for Materia, apparently." grumbled Jaana.

"Aw, k. Wall den, Ah guezz 'vrytin's in ordah. Fullah me."

Drugga lead the two maidens down a road, to a place with a big sign saying "Da dokz 'ouse." He took them in. Lying on a rock slab is, a mortally wounded Sephiroth.

"'e wuz like dis 'en we 'ound 'em. Ah tink yer Chik Palad'n dar kan 'elp 'im. 'ez all yerz."

Jaana was somewhat impressed, that in light of all this they'd help her get her boyfriend back.

"How can I repay you?" she asked.

"Ah wuz gunna say ya cud fuk me, bot cazual sex don' werk out most uv da time 'less it's rape. Ya just owe us, k?" he walked off.

Before they left, Jaana and Kaitlin consulted Lady Daligua, only to hear..

"It's okay. I actually kinda like it here. They may stink, but they have hearts of gold." she spoke "They're damn good in bed too."

"This woman's lost it." wispered Kaitlin to Jaana.

They slowly backed away, put the blindfolds back on, and rode back to the human base with Sephiroth.

Sky H Ainsworth

When the two magic users returned to the army base camp, before it had entered Crystal Peak (?), Bacca met them.
"So, where is the Orks base?" asked the High Lord, impressed that the two were alive and that Sephiroth was okay.
Bacca pulled out a map of the world and Kaitling pointed at a
"There? Are you sure?" asked Bacca, incredulous.
"Yeah," said the Druid. "You'd be surprised, but they have a real good set up going on. However, I think they could move out at a moments notice."
"Okay," said Bacca. "You will have to tell me all the details
later. Right now we have to march. Lady Paladin has gone under a transformation recently, but she should still be able to help Seph get back into shape."
Bacca went off to consult his generals and staff. Kaitlin and
Jaana took the litter to a tent.
Later, Bacca sent out a small recon force to spy on the orcs.
Their orders were to observe the orcs, not engage them, and remain unseen.
Bacca wanted to steer clear as much as possible from the orcs.