Revenge of the Queens.....Maybe
Revenge of the Queens.....Maybe

His Dark Lordship

[at Mog's headquarters]

Kupieron ran in.

"Emperor, we have an old acquaintance of yours here to see you."

"Really? Send him in."

Sephiroth entered the tent.

"Unsatisfied with the ninja, Seph? I told you humans were no good in bed."

"Hey!" yelled Celes from the other room.

"I have some classified information for you, Mog." spoke Sephiroth.

"Speak up, traitor." grumbled Aeris.

"Shut up bitch. Anyway, Bacca has taken control of the human forces. There is a mental power struggle forming. Bacca is planning on attacking several of our outer outposts to draw a fight. In addition, the black moogle known as Ku-Sam has insisted they travel to crystal peak."

"And how do I know you're telling the truth?" asked Mog.

"You think I'd walk several miles and give up great sex so I could come here and throw bullshit at you?"


"Dammit.." grumbled Sephiroth.

"BUT, I will give you a chance. I will send a few scouts on our new beasts of the sky to verify these things you've told me. If they're wrong, you will die."

"And exactly how do you plan to kill me?" asked Sephiroth bravely.

Without warning, Celes and Terra pounced on him from behind. He was brought up in magical chains and bound to a magnetic pole. Mog walked up to him in his new predicament.

"VERY slowly, and painfully. And before it is through, you will find our normal customs of doing away prisoners QUITE merciful." he walked back, sharply turned around and fired a crossbow, pinning Sephiroth's ear to the pole. He screamed.

"You'd better be telling the truth."

Mog issued a few orders out and several giant bat-like creatures were lead out of a stable. They resembled bats except they possessed the fuzzy white moogle fur, bony plates on their undersides and they seemed unaffected by the daylight. A group of Moogles boarded each one and they flew off.

* * * * * * * * * *

Several hours later they returned unscathed. The messenger ran up to Mog.

"Our Mind Manipulators read that they were indeed planning that which Sephiroth said they were. Bacca believes he can wear down the empire over a series of battles."

"Well!" smiled Mog with delight as he walked up to Sephiroth and pulled the bolt out of his ear. "You've proven your worth." Mog twiddled his fingers and the wound in Sephiroth's ear closed up. He was unbound, and they kissed.

The other queens of Mog watched angrily from his tent.

"This is definitely not good. We'll have to expose him somehow." muttered Relm.

Mog withdrawn, and ordered the army to take up arms and march. The defenses of the borders were to be raised, and a detached force made its way to a crystal peak to investigate. Meanwhile, Mog made plans of his own.

"We have the genes of the weapons, correct?" asked Mog to his aid, Kamog.

"Yes Mog."

"Bring in several pregnant parents. Inject their developing offspring with those cells. The moogleboars are tough, but we need some REAL contenders, one that can take on an army by themselves."

"Okay, we've selected about 500 random names of pregnant females, and they're being rounded up, anything else?"

"Yes, can I get a syringe of those genes too?"

Kamog handed Mog a syringe. Mog thanked him and left. He returned to his wing of the castle where Aeris was playing with their child. The child was about the size of a human, but had the moogle features, minus the plumpness and the pathetic wings. He was already beginning to show fantastic abilities. Mog pushed Aeris aside and injected the genes in the child's stomache. It whined, but soon fell asleep.

"You only deserve the best son."


Aerith grabbed the syringe out of Mog's paw.
"What the hell is this??" she inquired.
"Shut up, woman."
"No! I want to know what you just injected our son with!"
"Look, I don't keep you around here to ask questions. Your job is to teach him what you know. That's it."
Aerith looked hurt. She decided to try a different approach. "You know, honey, we haven' a while." She batted her eyes.
Mog scoffed. "I don't need you anymore. Go see Cloud if you're horny. I've got better things to kupo." An evil grin spread across his face as he thought of Sephiroth, presently tied up in his room, waiting. "That reminds me, I had plans for this evening." He chuckles.
Aerith watched Mog saunter out of her room. Their son lay sleeping on the floor. She scowled. "I have to do something about this," she said to herself. She pulled the cord to ring the nurse. Umaro plodded into the room.
Aerith grabbed her staff and walked out the door. "Watch him until I come back."
Umaro nodded, "Ungh"


Sephiroth was lying on his bed. He was bound at the wrists and ankles. He was also wearing a dress. "How humiliating!" he thought. He wished Mog would just come and get it over with. The waiting was probably the worst thing. He couldn't remember much of what he and Mog had done when he had been assimilated, but he remembered enough to be scared.......very scared.....of what Mog was planning. He heard footsteps approaching. He closed his eyes and tried to calm himself. An image of Jaana passed through his mind. He quickly opened his eyes.....he could not allow himself to think of her. He knew that Mog had him under close scrutiny. He knew that if he attempted to contact her, Mog would know, and that if Mog found that out, all his plans would be ruined.
The door swung open. Aerith stood in the doorway.

His Dark Lordship

"You come to let me out?" asked Sephiroth.

"I helped your friend restore you to human shape on the promise you'd keep out of our lives... You're ruining everything, for all of us."

She stepped out of the door, allowing Mog's other queens, Cloud, Cid, Tifa, Yuffie, Terra, Relm and Interceptor.

"Where's Celes?" asked Aerith.

"I dunno. She disappeared." said Tifa.

"Ah well. More jizz for us. Hand me the crossbow."

Tifa handed Aeris Mog's specialized Three shot crossbow. Instead of bolts she loaded Kitchen knives into the slots.

"Aeris... you wouldn't hurt a detained man, would you?" asked Sephiroth, obviously trying to get out of this.

"You wouldn't kill a praying woman, would you? Oh wait, you *did*." she fired the crossbow. A butterknife sprouted from his crotch. He screamed, especially after Tifa yanked it out and Aeris shot the cleaver at him. Tifa removed that and she shot a Prong at him. This hurt a lot, especially since Tifa had difficulty removing it.

Aeris laughed, evilly. "And now for an Orky style circumcision."

Cloud smiled as he pulled out his Buster Sword. Sephiroth's eyes widened....

*Shortly after....*

"You bastards... just.. ugh... kill me dammit..." yelped Sephiroth as he vomited blood.

The group laughed.

"Everyone got what they wanted?" asked Aerith.

Everyone nodded.

She motioned for Umaro, who handed her her child, and then threw Sephiroth out the window. He went crashing into the bubbling river below... Umaro looked over his shoulder for approval and was rewarded with a kiss.

* * * * * * * * *

A few days later...

Everything had settled at the Moogle camp. Mog, apparently noticing Sephiroth was gone, made up with Aerith, and explained to her the whole works of his plan, and what was in the syringe too.

In addition, the lab's handiwork was complete. Mog's "Moogle Weapons" were finished. He planned to test them out soon.

Jaana, meanwhile, had apparently received a telepathic "goodbye" from Sephiroth. She had been in her tent for about a couple days (Bacca and co. are still arguing about the Undead.) An Ork charged to the battlements on a boar.

"Ug, peace doodz." grunted the ork. "I juz gotta message for dis dragoon chik."

The soldiers were reluctant, but one went to her tent and fetched her. The Druidess kept watch on her, making sure her close ally didn't get in trouble. Jaana was lead out to the ork.

"What do you want?" asked Jaana.

"Ugh, Iz gotz sum nooz regardin' dat silver 'aired guy ya like ta screw."

Jaana looked at him oddly.

"Exactly how do you know about that?"

"Chek yer ear."

Jaana put her finger close to her ear, a pinch was felt, and she looked at her hand. A small, pinkish little ball with a mouthful of teeth was clasped onto her finger.

"Dis iz a telapath squig. Weev bin moniterin' yer every moov. We snuck 'im on ya during da fight at Spikey Stuntie Pazz."

Jaana wanted to kill the ork, but realized it wouldn't accomplish anything.

"Okay, so what about my Sephiroth..?"

"Well, wun ov da boyz fizhed 'im outta da riva yestaday. 'e's still alive too. Tough bastad. 'nyway, Drugga sayz ya can 'ave 'im back if ya and yar druid chik friend akkompany me to a meetin'." he pulled two sashes out of his pouch. "Yall 'afta ware blindfoldz. Waddya say? 'ill troo love play out again?"


Jaana cursed to herself. "Damn." She couldn't believe that the orcs had been spying on her and she hadn't known it! She hated orcs. Not only were they completely stupid, but they smelled bad. This certain orc emitted a particularly foul mildewed turds.
Of course Sephiroth was alive. She knew that. She also knew that he had been in very close contact with the dark forces these last few days. Nothing else could have kept him alive for so long. She only hoped that he had had enough time to complete his mission before he was thrown out of Mog's castle.
"We'll go with you, but the blindfolds won't be necessary." Kaitlin nodded. "We'd be able to tell where we were anyway." The orc grinned, showing his rotted teeth. "Yeh, mebbe. Bu' Drugga wantz yaz too. So ya gatsta.....see?"
Jaana shrugged her shoulders. "All right....but we have to be back soon. Bacca's ready to move."
"Dis won' take verry lonk...."
She took the blindfolds from the orc, handed one to Kaitlin, and put the other on. "Lead the way...."