Mog's Marchin' Again!
Mog's Marchin' Again!

His Dark Lordship

After his troops refiled in the mountains, Mog began to decide what to do next.

Mog: Okay, we're not gonna bother with taking the dark lord's keep until they have nothing left to defend.

Cloud: Sounds good. Dishearten their spirits and then clobber 'em.

Mog: No, my plan was just attack other places, seeing as they can't teleport anywhere now that Darky's gone, until they're the only human settlement left. By then, we'll have amassed enough weaponry that we'll certainly have a few nukes. We'll drop in on the fortress.

Cid: Where do we get the nukes?

Aeris: Just attack Pakistan and India.

Tifa: Yeah! Prevent nuclear war AND get a bunch of cool stuff.

Yuffie: Let's rock.

So, Mog arranges his army and they march off to Pakistan/India.

Pakistani Soldier: King! We got a bunch of furballs near our next nuclear test!

Head of Pakistan: So?

Soldier: Well, I figured we wouldn't want to draw more attention from the United Nations than we already have...

Big Cheese: Duh? We're getting media attention? What's wrong with nuking? Besides the fact it keeps the area around it intoxicated for a couple centuries..

So the moogle army marches on.

"We are the moogle borg,
The greatest feared horde.
We have a load of weaponry,
But the cock is mightier than the sword!"

"We slaughtered all the FF world,
We clobbered almost all of Mana,
We ate some of Bacca's men,
We're the horniest in the land!"

"We fly our standards high,
They symbolize our band.
The symbol of it is..
The sacred Rosy Hand!"

"Oh, that dark moogle is a loser,
He flies around in the sky,
In search of useless materia,
We laugh so hard we could die!"

"Most doctors say that males,
And girls below age 8,
Cannot bear babies,
But for us they're doing great!"

Suddenly a nuke goes off in a portion of the army.

Mog: Okay. NOW I'm mad. CHAAARGE!!!!!

The moogle army takes off. Kupoing everything in their path, they leap and tear the nation apart. A horde larger than any swarm one's seen, before long there are few Pakistani left. India rejoices. But, Mog, filled with Blood rage, attacks India too. There are few of them left too. Mog captures the nukes and the two nations decide to quit this dumb rivalry and unit against this greater evil. Unfortunately they'll never see the moogles again anyway.

However, they first stop by at the United Nations and get medals for ending the nuclear war threat. After this, they return to the moogle empire and decide what to do next.

OOC: See? The moogles ARE good for something after all.