Massacre at Spiked Dwarf Pass
Massacre at Spiked Dwarf Pass

His Dark Lordship

As DL returns from his meeting with the Orks, another messenger runs up.

T'rak: The only passable entrance to the ravine is swelling with Moogles.

DL turns to the others.

DL: Now what?

Tojo: Those war machines that ate a few of my men. Use them!

DL: No. We can't waste their strength.. yet.

LP: Umm.. there's a regiment of our human side of the troops forming up.

DL: What!?! Just where the fuck do you think you're going?

General Ackerman: Our families were killed in Araguay while we were held here. We will march and save you miserable reptiles.

DL: Well, there's enough of you to keep their wangs busy for a little while. Fine, go hold the pass.

Ackerman: We will slaughter and maime every Moogle in their pathetic pod! March!

DL: I will invoke T'hahi. The humans don't stand a chance.

Bacca: I'll help them.

DL: No you won't. You're more valuable here, for rallying a defense. Also, you just recovered.
The Dark Lord walks off with his shamans.
Bacca: I don't take orders from anyone.
LP: Bacca, please...

* * * * * * * * *

The battle...
The humans arrived at 3. The moogles were ready for them. They plunged into their ranks and felled many a man. Mog stood on his hill, commanding, instructing, and occasionally grappling a soldier to personally kill. As he looked at his fantastic army, he felt.. a vortex around him, for but a split second.. then, the heavy breathing of a very large animal behind him.

Mog: Huh?

He turned about to gaze at a pair of jaws filled with razor sharp, six inch teeth. He swore.

Mog: UWAAAAAA!!!!!

He screamed as he was lifted up in its jaws and swallowed whole. The army would have fallen right there had Aeris not taken control.

Aeris: Leave your playstations up your butts. We have a battle to win here!

Moogle: She's right. CHAAARGE!!!!

DL (viewing the battle via telepathy): Never expected this to happen. I now see his obsession with getting new queens...

The human troops, who had already began to crack the champagne and were ready to let the Tyranosaur finish the job, were startled. The moogles poured into their ranks and they fled and reformed. Ackerman held his sword up to charge when the rose tip of a crossbow bolt sprouted from his forehead.

Drugga: "Umies ta whack! Whack da humies! RAW RAW RAW!!!" The humans found themselves covered on either side, Moogles on one, Orks on the other. Several broke and ran into the woods in an attempt to escape. This was followed by lots of screams and loud burps. The tyranosaurus just sat there and watched the fight, eating the occasional passerby but knowing that there would be plenty of food after the fight, so why bother hunting?

Mog's generals took the front ranks, killings humans left and right. Cloud himself stood opposite a hill with a great human warrior, none other than...

DL: Fuck, Bacca, why didn't you stay here?

Cloud: You fight well. You would make a fine addition to our army. Will you join us, and accept the crown of high king of all humankind?

Sky H Ainsworth

(Damn, wish I had a playstation and played FFVII more then the demo.:(:) )

"They say your name is Cloud, is that right?" asked Bacca.
"Yes," replied the blond-haired warrior.
"Well, Cloud, it's like this, I already have one kingdom to rule and another would not be that fun. Besides, I like getting out every now and then and having some fun." Bacca smiled. "I got a better idea, why don't you join us? If you like a good fight and good comrades, then I'm sure you would not mind joining us and fighting some bad guys. They don't necessarily have to be the moogles, we can find an enemy that suits you." Bacca smiled and waited for an answer.
"I think about it after I kill you and deliver your head to Master Mog," replied Cloud. He then pulled his extremely long huge sword out and charged.
"Oh well, guess I will have to not kill him then," said Bacca as he charged as well.
The two swordsmen met and with his two swords, Bacca barely managed to keep back Cloud's huge blade. With metal grinding on metal, Bacca managed to throw off his opponent and took another stance.
Cloud, without waiting, charged again and swung at chest level. Bacca did not even consider blocking the blow, but instead ducked low and made a swing at Cloud's legs. The blond warrior grunted as Bacca's sword connected with his greaves.
Rolling away, Bacca recovered and readied himself for Cloud's next attack.
"The defender always has the advantage," muttered Bacca with a slight smile.
Cloud attacked again and this time swung low. Bacca jumped over the blade and with his short sword, made a quick jab at Cloud. The man stumbled back from the blow.
"Damnit!" said Cloud. He looked around and then back to Bacca.
Quickly sheathing his sword, Cloud brought his hands together and created a flare orb. Bacca saw this and smiled. He crossed his swords, black before the white, and waited.
Cloud launched the orb at Bacca and the recipient braced himself and took the orb at the cross of his swords. The magic was absorbed into the black sword and the white sword glowed brightly. Aiming the blade at Cloud, Bacca sent a beam of energy at the warrior and it exploded at his feet.
Cloud flew into the air, high. When he finally came down, he landed on an orc.
"I wonder how that will turn out," said Bacca with a smile.
Turning, he saw the humans being slaughtered. "Damnit! What can I do?
"They are trapped on both sides. The moogles outnumber them and are in the pass. The orcs are tough, but on more open land. But if I fight the orcs too much, I might prevent them from joining our cause in the future."
Bacca thought a moment and grunted.
"Damnit all to hell."
Bacca ran at a full pace to the center of the human mass that was slowly dwindling down. As he ran, he took down what few moogles and orcs he came across. The human soldiers gave Bacca a cheer as he aided them in their troubles.
Upon reaching the main body, Bacca yelled out, "Who is in command now?"
"I am, sir. Lt. Burns," said a man who stood a little higher to be recognized. He, like the rest of the troops, had fear in his eyes.
"I have come to help you escape," said Bacca. "We don't have much time, but you must do exactly as I say." The man nodded, the fear leaving his eyes as he realized the words Bacca spoke.
"We can't fight off the moogles, they are too many. But we can fight through the orcs. If we advance to our left flank against the orcs, we can push through their weaker lines there and make it back to the keep. Do you understand?"
"Yes sir!"
"Good. Burns, you will stay here and organize our rear guard defense against the moogles. Keep the men together and in formation. Hold those white furballs back. You will have the remaining men. The other half will follow me in the assault. Understood?"
"Yes sir."
"Alright." Bacca took the soldier by the shoulder. "Don't worry. You will make it out of this alive."
Burns gripped Bacca's shoulder and nodded his head. "Thank you, sir."
Bacca smiled. He then looked up and yelled out, "Play the music! The heavier, the better!" From out of nowhere, heavy metal began to be played.
"That's the way I like it," said Bacca. He then began running through the throng of soldiers and started picking men to follow him. When a large enough force had gathered at his heels, Bacca led them against the orcs.
"Stay behind me men. Watch my back and take out those you can. Don't be heroes now. We will need your energy later." The soldiers took courage at these words.
The few soldiers who did not make it back to the main body were suppressed in little pockets, fighting desperately with the orcs for survival. As Bacca and his force neared at a steady jog, the warrior veered slightly and took out one orc out of the pockets. Soldiers behind
him followed his example.
The relieved soldiers gave cheers of thanks and joined the assaulting party.
Nearing the line of orcs, Bacca eyed them with menace.
Composed mainly of groups, the orc company formed a rough line. Seeing Bacca and his men approach, made the orcs bunch up and ready their weapons. As Bacca neared at his steady jog, the orcs gave a warcry and charged at the soldier.
Bacca stopped. All the soldiers behind him had a little trouble, but they, too, came to a halt.
"Form a wedge on me!" yelled Bacca. The soldiers complied.
As the orc host neared, their original line broke down into fast runners who streaked ahead of the rest of the group. These runners neared Bacca with murderous intent.
"You picked the wrong enemy to fight," Bacca muttered.
The first orc was taken down as he prepared to swing his sword. Bacca took a step forward and caught the beast in the neck, severing half the bone and tissue of the neck. The head flopped over to the side, the body following its direction.
The next orc held up his shield and readied for Bacca's swing. Bacca raised his long white sword overhead and swung down hard. The blade cut into the top of the shield, but its force of impact carried the blade down against the orcs strength to hold it up. The blade cut into the skull of the orc and the creature screamed and dropped his weapon and shield.
Bacca pulled his sword free in time to catch an orc sword that came to meet him. Flicking it around, Bacca managed to cut off the orcs arm with a quick upswing. As the humanoid screamed in pain, Bacca stepped up to the next fighter.
All the while, the humans behind Bacca began finishing off the wounded opponents, showing the orcs no mercy.
Bacca continued his slaughter of orcs, walking forward and taking down a creature at each pace. His arms swung wildly in all directions, his strength evident in every thud of impact upon a victim. Soon, however, the main body of orcs approached and Bacca knew that his battle was just beginning.
As a line of ten orcs approached Bacca from all sides, he took several quick steps forward away from the troops. The soldiers behind Bacca continued at their slow approach and were too busy with other orcs to notice at first.
Bacca readied himself and the orcs came on.
Two from each side approached and Bacca charged after one and managed to catch the blade of the other just in time. Engaged with this orc, another came forward and swung, but Bacca ducked in time. The swing took out Bacca's opponent and Bacca brought up his short sword, driving it up and under the leather breastplate of the orc and driving deep into the body of the orc.
As the orc howled in pain, Bacca swung at another orc that came up and just barely managed to pull his sword out in time before an orc armed with an axe could connect his swing.
Engaged with two opponents, Bacca did not see the third behind armed a spear. That orc made a lunge and caught Bacca's upper, left arm. Grunting in pain, Bacca returned the favor and swung wide with his long sword. The tip cut the orcs face in two straight across. The other two
orcs tried to press their advantage, but Bacca, in a frenzy, managed to disarm them with wild swings and took their lives.
In a blind fury, Bacca swung all around as orcs seemed to come out of the woodwork. The warrior took another injury to his right lower arm, to his stomach, and his left leg on the thigh.
Coming out of his berserker high, Bacca looked around and saw that he had finally broken the line. A clear path now lay between him and open ground.
In his loudest voice, Bacca called out, "Order the retreat! The way is clear!"
The order was echoed by other soldiers and a cheer immediately followed that. Soldiers began moving to Bacca's position, some to the open ground.
Bacca fought on. He took an axe blow to the chest, but it did not cut him, instead just knocking the wind from him.
As Bacca maintained the way, he saw many soldiers fleeing instead of fighting. His heart began to falter. He had to fight on.
"I will die here!!!" exclaimed Bacca with emotion deep in his voice.
The soldiers stopped running. They understood what Bacca was doing and what he was fighting for. They returned to the line and fought with Bacca.
Bacca felt his courage and strength return. But fatigue and injury was getting to him. He was slowly loosing blood, his adrenaline was running out. Time was not helping.
Bacca hoped for a miracle.

Lady Paladin

Seeing more and more human warriors injured, Lady Paladin scrambles down the rocky hillside towards the heavy fighting. She pulls her wakazashi from its sheath, and advances. She watches carefully for approaching enemies, and then bends down to heal some of the soldier's wounds.

Several orcs notice the white-robed figure crouched down among the bodies. "Prkth! Eet's a vuman!" The orcs drool, and five of them break apart from the fighting and run towards her.

Lady Paladin glances upward. "Darn it," she hisses, leaping to her feet. Two human soldiers clumsily rise and take position beside her.

"I don't have time for this," she says with a frown, hearing more wounded men groaning in the field around her. She closes her eyes, chanting under her breath. Her hands gracefully make motions in the air, and then her two fists come together and open. Three fireballs surge from her palms and hurl at the orcs. The enemy stumbles to a halt, but they are already within range. The fireballs strike the orcs and burst in a dramatic shower or flames and sparks. There is a very brief scream from the group, and then a thud as their armored mass falls to the ground.

The two soldiers look at Lady Paladin with respect. "Lady, how may we help you?" one of them asks.

She smiles wearily. "Your wounds are still too serious to go back into the midst of battle. Help me pull some of these injured men back further from the fighting. There's a makeshift medic's camp just over that hill," she says, pointing. "If the men can walk, send them there. If they can't, drag or carry them."

"What are you going to do?" asks the other soldier in concern.

"I'm heading to other parts of the battlefield to heal more warriors and have them do the exact same thing as you two. Now go, and be careful." The two men nod, and bend down to help other wounded comrades.

Lady Paladin looks back at the hill where Dark Lord is. It is very distant, but she can faintly make out the form of his figure. Pushing a stray strand of her hair over her shoulder, she begins running towards another area of intense fighting. Along the way, she stops to heal and give potions to more injured soldiers. After several hours of this routine, she has sent a few hundred mildly injured men back to the medical camp and base. Lady Paladin is still on the edge of the main battlefield, in an area of open ground between the battle and the base.

More and more soldiers come running from the battle. Lady Paladin realizes that a commander must have ordered a retreat. As one tattered soldier approaches, she calls out to him, "What has happened? Who is your commander?"

He looks at her, mouth gaping. Her white robes are soaked with blood and grime, and her hands hold a precious cure potion out to him. "Oh, bless ye, great lady," he cries, taking the bottle in his hands. "I was originally under the command of Lt. Orthenkin, but when all seemed hopeless, a Lord Bacca came and took command. He's the one who organized us n' just now ordered our retreat." The man tips his head back, and guzzles the potion down. "Thank you, lady, for your true kindness," he says, flinging the bottle aside and continuing to run to safety.

Her brown eyes widen. "Bacca?" she says aloud. It was just like him to jump into a battle and organize the troops in such a manner, but some part of her was still surprised by his actions. She scrutinizes the approaching troops and notes how battered and beaten they are. And, knowing Bacca, he led the soldiers right up to the enemy and stayed in the front lines all the while.

Before she even knew what she was doing, she was running like a madwoman directly towards the battle. "Damn him," she pants, "I just get him healed and he has to go and make a martyr of himself." She grinds her teeth and keeps running, hopping over bodies and blindly throwing potions to the retreating soldiers. "I swear, if he's still alive, I'll kill him for this. Or worse, I'll bury him up to his neck in sand and let a brass dragon talk its head off to him." The breath escapes her chest in choking heaves. She looks to the horizon and sees that the orcs have retreated as well. Fewer human troops are passing by her now; the rest lie injured around her, groaning and gurgling blood onto the once-barren field.

The clamor of steel suddenly alerts her to a skirmish still taking place about half a mile away. She begins to run towards it but stumbles over the rising body of an orc.

"Oomph!" she cries, tumbling to the ground. As her hands impact on the turf, a scream tears from her throat. Numb in horror, she tries moving her legs. A heavy object drags beside her left thigh; it is a sword, imbedded along the length of its blade along her leg. In a panic, she realizes that the orc she tripped over is moving towards her, his eyes red-glazed with pain.
She reaches to her waist for her sword, but finds it is trapped underneath her maimed leg. Her thigh throbs and pulses with pain. Relying on blind instinct, she reaches to a pouch at her waist, her fingers seeking any weapon available. Her fingers clasp on a round object with the texture of a magical explosive, and pull forth a small red marble.

"Take this, pig!" she cries, throwing the marble. It strikes directly between his eyes. The orc blinks and then falls to the ground, dead. In shock, she remembers that it was a simple marble a child in DLE's fortress had handed to her the day before. It had no magical powers whatsoever, but it had saved her life.

With a grunt, Lady Paladin twists her torso so she can view her injury. The sword is human crafted. A good six inches of the blade had buried into the side of the thigh, penetrating the flesh almost to the bone. With a moan, she grasps the hilt of the sword and yanks it out. A disgusting gush of blood seeps forth. She grabs the skirt of her heroine robe and tears the magical fabric, shortening the skirt to her mid-thigh. With quick, practiced fingers, she wraps the formerly white fabric tightly up her leg, ceasing the flow of blood. The magical nature of the cloth would hold back most of the blood and guard against infection.

Lady Paladin pushes herself to her feet. She knew her wound was serious, but her comrades came first. Seeing the battle in the distance, she presses her lips together in determination. "I've gotta find him," she hoarsely whispers, limping forward at the fastest pace possible.


Meanwhile, Jaana stands at the top of the hill watching the slaughter.

Jaana: Hmmm....I always did hate orcs.

DL: It's too bad, really. I think we may lose both Lady Paladin and Bacca.

Kaitlin: Hey, isn't that her down there? (points to a white figure in the middle of a pile of bodies) What's she doing?

Sephiroth: It looks like she's crawling over those bodies...

Jaana: Oh jeez, that's all we need. Why do these people want to be heroes? Come on Seph, (grabs his hand) it looks like we get to try out some of those new DoubleTechs.

Sephiroth looks at Jaana strangely.

Sephiroth: What? In front of all these people?

Jaana rolls her eyes

Jaana: Not *those* DoubleTechs! The ones for use in BATTLE.

Kaitlin's eyes widen as the Dark Lord stifles a laugh.

Sephiroth: OH! Okay.

DL: Here, you might need this.

DL throws Jaana a FullEther. She catches it and puts it in her bag as she pulls on her helmet and picks up her spear.

Jaana: Thanks. See you guys soon

A portal opens in front of Jaana and Sephiroth. They step into it, and vanish.

****On top of the pile of bodies......****

Lady Paladin: I've got to get to Bacca....

She looks across the field. The High Lord of All That Kicks Ass is taking a serious beating. His troops are dropping left and right, and the orcs are closing in. All of a sudden, the portal that closed on the hill above the battlefield, opened in front of Lady Paladin. Jaana and Sephiroth step out.

Jaana: Ew! It smells like orc!

Sephiroth: Maybe that's because you're standing on a pile of dead orcs.

Jaana: Maybe....

Lady Paladin: Jaana!

Jaana: Lady Paladin! You've taken quite a beating!

Lady Paladin: I've got to get to Bacca!

Jaana: Okay. Here, I have something for you.

Jaana hands Lady Paladin a FullTonic.

Lady Paladin: Oh, thank The Maker!

Lady Paladin drinks. She stands up, a little more steady.

Lady Paladin: I'll be better in a minute, you've got to go help Bacca.

Jaana: We're going to need your help....I don't think he's in very good shape.

Lady Paladin: I *know* he's not in good shape. I'll be there in a minute. You've got to take care of those orcs!

Jaana: See you soon!

Jaana and Sephiroth take off across the battlefield. Sephiroth unsheathes Masamune and begins to hack his way through the orcs. Jaana jabs an orc through the stomach with MasamuneSpear.

Jaana: P.U.!!! It stinks!

Sephiroth: What is your aversion to orcs?

Jaana: I don't know! They stink! Let's get Bacca and get out of here! Are you ready to try that DoubleTech?

Sephiroth: Yeah. Let's do it!

Jaana: Okay!

Sephiroth raises Masamune in the air

Sephiroth: Forces of darkness hear my call....

Jaana jumps in the air above Sephiroth. She points MasamuneSpear at a spot in the middle of the group of orcs.

Jaana: I call upon the powers of Lightning....

Sephiroth: Give us your strength!

Jaana: Grant us your force!

Sephiroth: Defeat our enemies!!

The air fills with a blinding flash. The orcs look up as Jaana descends, spear pointed downward. As her spear punctures the earth, a force knocks the orcs back, as a great surge of electricity comes up from the ground. Bacca is knocked against a nearby tree and collapses. All orcs in the
nearby vicinity are instantly turned to dust. Lady Paladin appears over the rise.

Lady Paladin: Holy crap! What was that??!?!?

Jaana pulls her spear out of the ground.

Jaana: Oh, just something we've been working on.

LadyPaladin: Oh my God! What did you do to Bacca??

She runs over to the tree where Bacca lies motionless.

Jaana: Well, he was standing right in the middle of it all.

Lady Paladin: Crap, I've got to get him somewhere safe....this will take some *serious* spellcasting.

Jaana: Yeah, and I don't think we're going to be alone for much longer. That *had* to have attracted the attention of whatever orcs are left....

Sephiroth opens a portal

Sephiroth: After you, ladies....

[in some other universe, kind of]

Ku-Sam: "Oh man! Not Cloud! He'll head-butt us to death!" He begins to chant an unknown spell.

"Fury of forever, blow these beings to safe territory!"

Darklord and Cloud suddenly are trapped by a force field. They are the only ones inside.

Darklord: "You stupid puffball! What the hell did you do?!?"

As he finishes the sentence, enemy troops come crashing into the force field.

Ku-Sam: "I saved your Lizard ass! Now take out Cloud!"

DL: "Good plan!" They begin to duel.

Ku-Sam looks into the valley to see a crash of lightning knock Bacca nearly lifeless.

"Damn!" yells Ku-Sam. He casts again.

A blue glow flows over Bacca, as he eases to his feet.

Darklord stops fighting Cloud, just long enough to talk to Kaitlin.

Ku-Sam, after overhearing: "You helped start this? I knew it! But it doesn't matter!"

"I'm really pushing myself here, but it's time to end this battle. All heroes, move out of the way!"

"God's wrath, cast down upon thine enemies! Judgement!"

The sky turns dark, and light, surging between the two, and suddenly, a giant crash emits in the middle of the battlefield. The light shields the heroes and the dark rains down on the enemies, as they cry in utter pain, burning to a pile of cinder.

"And now... it's time... to sleep..."

Ku-Sam falls to the ground as a soldier runs up the hill. "Are you alright puff ball?"

Ku-Sam: "My power... is used up... get help... quickly. Or the Dark Moogle... will never come to rest..."

His eyes close.

Soldier: "Hey! Anyone! We need help over here! Now! Please!"