A Survivor A Survivor
The Lizar towermen look over the edges.
A lone man crawls toward the gate....
Later:
DL: So you're a survivor of Araguay?
Man: Yeah...
Bacca: Do you know anything about the moogles?
Man: What? You want to take them on? You nuts!
LP: We cannot allow them to continue to rage havoc on us.
Man: Death awaits you all! .. with fuzzy, white little cocks up your ass!
The survivor then begins laughing uncontrollably, and won't stop.
DL signals for the straight jacket.
Jaana
As the raving man is being carried off, our heroes look at each other in wonder....
Kaitlin: Hmm....
Bacca: I say, that was a strange one, wasn't it.
LadyPaladin: Yes, he was strange. I'm going to see if I can help him....he's sure to have a lot of internal bleeding...
DL: Yeah, I'll say.....
LadyPaladin ignores this.
LadyPaladin: He might have some useful information.
Kaitlin: You know, I'm beginning to wonder how smart this whole "taking on the moogles" thing is.....
Jaana: Me too.....it doesn't appear as though conventional means will do the trick. We've got to be smart.....beat them at their own game.
DL: You mean "kupo unto them before they kupo unto us"?
Jaana glares at DL.
Jaana: That's not what I had in mind. I meant that we've got to amass some *serious* troops. Those Moogleboars are a force to be reckoned with. I don't think that the few of us are going to be able to take on Mog's entire army......especially with me trying to get used to this new class....my skills aren't where they should be.
Sephiroth: You know, I love that armor on you.....
Jaana: (winks at Sephiroth) Later. We've got to think about the moogles now. Any ideas?
His Dark Lordship
DL: All kings are only throned for a little while.. Maybe your time is up.
They all look at the dark lord oddly.
DL: Either way, my basic recommendation is to avoid them when we can. Should we begin spiraling towards defeat, I shall send my troops home, so they can prepare their defenses there. They are here by volunteer only, alas.
Lady Paladin
Lady Paladin, hearing the way the conversation has turned, comes back to the group. "Actually, I have ideas in mind to getting Mog back, but I need to work on them some more before I inform the rest of you," she says with a frown.
"Oh?" The Dark Lord perks up with interest. "Are you volunteering to kupo unto them first?"
Without hesitation, Lady Paladin slaps DL across the face. His lizar guards rush forward, but DL waves them back. Jaana and Sephiroth barely manage to hold back rolling on the ground with laughter.
Glaring at him, Lady Paladin snaps, "Don't take liberties with me, Dark Lord. I haven't forgotten how you teleported me out of here naked recently. I know you SAY it's an accident, but...." She shrugs.
His Dark Lordship
"Believe what thou wilt, but what I speak is law."
Lady Paladin
Bacca adds, "And watch your mouth around these ladies, DL, or next time I'll do more than slap you."
Dark Lord looks around at his companions with a frown. "Well! So much for hospitality! I say one little thing, and you're up in arms against me."
Jaana turns to Lady Paladin. "Let me know what this plan of yours is going to be, and hopefully I can help."
"Thanks, Jaana, " she replies with a smile. "I may need to go through your wardrode to piece together something...and no, I won't take your armor." Jaana grins and nods.
Sephiroth steps forward and touches Lady Paladin lightly on the shoulder to get her attention. His face is quite grave. "I've been considering what you told me, and I think it may work. I'd like to meet you again this evening to discuss it in more detail, though." Lady Paladin nods, and Sephiroth releases his grip and steps back.
Jaana and Bacca look at each other, and then at Lady Paladin and Sephiroth. "What are you guys talking about?" asks Bacca.
"I think you need to keep a closer eye on your sweetie, Jaana," the Dark Lord chuckles. She glares at him.
Lady Paladin gives a tired smile. "You'll find out soon enough. Let's go and check on that survivor now. I told them to take him on ahead, and we'd be there shortly."
Sky H Ainsworth
Bacca breaks out into another long grin.
"I know exactly what we can do," said Bacca.
Everyone looked at the warrior.
"Well, because I am the High Lord of All That Kicks Ass, I am used to leading people around."
Everyone gives Bacca sardonic looks, trying to get him to hurry and say his piece.
"Well, give me some soldiers and some time and I'll train them and start taking over the towns Mog has control over now. What do you guys think? I know I can do it."
His Dark Lordship
Well you can, but most of the people in those towns are dead. Not much of the actual towns left either. :P
Sky H Ainsworth
"Then why continue on fighting? Why not just make an alliance with Mog and stop the fighting now?!"
Bacca threw up his hands in disgust.
"Look! Give me men and some time and I will start taking Mog's army down. I'll dwindle those moogles and keep them from making any serious trouble for us. What do you think?"
His Dark Lordship
"A peace treaty might be a better option. Keep in mind that there's enough Moogles that it'd take a couple decades to wear them down. They have a two month gestation and are always menstruating. They're the most fertile of the civilized species around. They grow up fast too."
Sky H Ainsworth
"Screw that," said Bacca, obviously a little agitated. "Give me the damn men and I will train them to be tougher then five moogles. And as we go out and kill those white bastards, people will join us, I'll train them, and we will keep on killing the moogles.
"In the end, we will have killed every last damned one."
Everyone looked at Bacca with surprise. This was not the typical smiling, easy going warrior they had all come to know. Something was wrong with him. He seemed to not be taking the war well. (Or, it could be something in RL that is getting to him and he needs to take it out some way or other.)
Lorinan
Suddenly, the room is filled with smoke. After it clears, the group sees a man standing in the middle of the room.
Man:"I'm really going to have to work on that mix. Let's see, two parts moke with one part anti-matter? I think that'll work. Anyway. Hi peoples. I'm Lorinan, and I've been sent to help you. I'm a first-class mixer, when they work, and can hold my own magically. What do you say. I know you had a big rout a few hours ago, but I can help you anyways. What do you say?"
His Dark Lordship
"You guys, my keep's getting crowded here." grumbles the dark lord. "As of already half the troops are camping outside the walls.."
Lorinan
"Fine you don't want me around, I'll go assist someone else."
His Dark Lordship
"That wasn't exactly what I meant, but... your choice."
Sky H Ainsworth
"Wait," said Bacca, facing the warrior. "This whole war is throwing us into chaos, we don't know who is a friend and who is an enemy. So please forgive us for our oversights.
"How about this, pledge an oath to us that you will fight us and uphold what we are fighting for. If you fail in this oath, I will ensure that you do not trick anyone else in this world. What do you say? We won't automatically trust you, but this will be a beginning and we can use the help where we can get it."
Lorinan
"Alright, I'll take your oath, however, you must agree to help me when I need it. I that okay?"
Sky H Ainsworth
"You shall have it," said Bacca. "Do not worry, we do not betray friends." Bacca extended his hand and Lorinan took it.
"Welcome, friend."
Spacecat
There is a knock at the door.
"Who could it be NOW?!" asks Dark Lord, tired of all the people coming into his keep. He opens the door. The person at the door is Lance Henriksen.
"Hey, aren't you on TV?" asked Dark Lord.
"Yes," says Lance, "I play Frank Black on the Fox drama Millenium, Friday nights at 9 eastern, 8 central, 9 mountain, I think. Anyway I have a package here for all of you from Spacecat." He gives the package to Dark Lord. Dark Lord reads the note on the package aloud, "If you are going to Kupo the moogles, you may need some of these."
"I don't even want to know what's in there," says Lady Paladin. Dark Lord opens the package. "Hey Lady, what size strap-on do you wear?" Lady Paladin shoots DLE a dirty look and angrily closes the package. "Tell Spacecat to keep his stupid sex toys to himself!"
"Okay," says Lance, and starts to leave.
"Wait a minute!" says Bacca, "Isn't it true that Spacecat has an army of Lance Henriksens at his disposal?"
"Yeah," says Lance.
"I thought Spacecat was on Mog's side," says Lady Paladin.
"He was, but now he's neutral," says Lance.
"Do you think he would let me command them?" says Bacca, "I need an army!"
"I don't know," says Lance, "Let me see." He dials his cel phone. "Hi Ramza. Is Spacecat there? He's right there? Good. Hello Space. No sir, I didn't mean to interrupt you two. Okay. Anyway, can Bacca command your army for a while? He can? Okay. Goodbye sir." He pushes the button to hang up. "Yes Bacca, he says you can command us now. What do you want us to do first?"
Sky H Ainsworth
Bacca's mouth drops open in astonishment. "Ah.... Well, first off, tell them to march here and set up camp around the keep. I'll inspect them when we have time.
"Secondly, tell Spacecat to come on down and chat with us, I'm sure we can use him in our coming battles."
"Yes sir," replied Lance.
"Follow me, I have many questions to ask of you," said Bacca. He led Lance out the door and closed it behind them.
"I hope he does not get too excited over this," said Lady Paladin.
Jaana
Jaana: Gosh, Lance, you know, I just loved you in Omen 2....you were so evil. And you looked great in that uniform!
Lance blushes.
Lance: Thanks. You must be Jaana.
Jaana: The one and only. Glad to have you and your minions aboard.
DL: I hope he's not planning on bringing them all into my keep.
Lance: No, Dark Lord. Our army will be content camping in the forest outside.
Jaana: Oh, come on DL. Cheer up! You've been so grumpy lately.
DL grumbles.
Jaana: I bet I know what would cheer you up.....
Jaana closes her eyes, speaks a few words, and a big stack of magazines falls on DL's head. He picks one up.
DL: Hentai Hotties!!!
Jaana: Issues one through one hundred!
Sephiroth: Huh? Oh crap!
DL picks up one of the magazines and starts laughing.
DL: Look who's on the cover of November!
Sephiroth grabs the magazine from DL and hides it behind his back.
Sephiroth: Nevermind that....
Lady Paladin: Come on guys! We've got to get down to business!!
His Dark Lordship
*rofl* That'll help cheer me up. ;D
"Seriously though, Lance. You may want to stick to the field. My troops left their war mounts/war `machines' in the forest, and our supply of livestock to keep them fed ran out some time ago."
Tojo: Wh-What!?! Arteron! Get that foreign group out of there!
Arteron, a Lizar, picks up one of these newfangled walky-talkies and turns it on.
Arteron: Come in squad a.
All that's heard is a loud burp.