DL Defies DM, and Jaana Scores
DL Defies DM, and Jaana Scores


Later, in NP's base...

Brig Master: "Hum dee dum, this is so boring."

Sephiroth: "KUPO!!!!!!!"

Brig Master: "AAAAAHHH!!!!!!"


Janitor: "Better clean this cell..."

Unbeknownst to him, Sephiroth is waiting to jump down...

Janitor: "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" Death... by Kupo... by a human...

Sephiroth: "I am free! I must tell Master Mog where this place is! Kupo!"

Tojo Mojo

Sephiroth, however, is stopped by a tall man standing in front of about 150,000 soldiers.

Tojo: Where do you think you're going?

Tojo and his army had managed to find a way out of the Lunar palace and his men had once again marched the long road between the Earth and the moon.

Tojo: My men are very irritable right now, I wouldn't try to piss them off...

Tojo has had a change of heart and decided to become a gay-basher (homophobic). He has vowed to destroy the evil, misshapen Mog before he can torture more innocent souls.

Tojo: Jaana! I could use a little help here!

His Dark Lordship
[in some other reality]

[Sephiroth: "I am free! I must tell Master Mog where this place is! Kupo!"]

Voice: I'll give you a hand. This Dark Moogle's getting annoying.

Sephiroth: DLE?

DL: Yep. The fool thought he could trap me. I slit the moogle's throat and followed your signal when you were zapped out of there.

Sephiroth: How do we get out of here? You're out of MP.

DL: Weaklings need mp. I use the essence of life.

Suddenly the walls part to reveal the world beyond.

DLE then brings forth a cloud of darkness, and all that come near are choked in darkness.


Sephiroth: I just realized... you don't know where Mog's base is.. how will we..

DL: Exactly. ::knocks Sephiroth out with his sword hilt and drags him into DL's keep, where he is met by Jaana::

DL: Okay. Xyocl, you know what to do.

Xyocl, a witch doctor, nods.

Jaana: A witch doctor is gonna operate on my Sephy? Maybe we should just get a doctor's book of home remedies. Now, about..

DL: My going to slit your throat? Ha. You know I wouldn't do that to you. ;D

An hour later, Xyocl comes out and announces it was a success, though the subject has no record of memory.

DL: You two can have the master bedroom, and you can reacquaint him with himself. I'll take the couch. Oh yeah, and keep a full guard, magically and physically. I'll help in the first shift.


Jaana: Don't worry. When I'm finished with him, I think I'll have a very loyal ally.

DL: You do mean "we", don't you.

Jaana raises an eyebrow.

Jaana: I think that remains to be seen. I don't want to be disturbed....this might take a while.....

Jaana closes the door, chants a brief incantation, and magically seals the door behind her. The Dark Lord perches on the couch, and prepares himself for the long night ahead.

His Dark Lordship

DL helps on the first guard shift, then tries to get some sleep, can't because Jaana and Sephy are making too much noise, so he goes back and works the forth and fifth guard shifts, by then it's morning. :P


Dark Moogle: "Damn! His life essence. We'll just have to take it from him, won't me, my good friend?"

Mysterious, Dark Voice: "Yes, Dark Moogle. We will! Let us go, and kill the so called Lord of Darkness!"

DM: "No! Not yet. We mustn't. Only when he least suspects is. We have all we need to stay safe right now. We have a third of the ultimate power, and, thanks to you, all the Crystals and activator statues. And, if Digital chooses to join us, we will be unstoppable!"

Voice: "Hmph! I guess so. But what of Sephiroth? Won't he still know?"

DM: "Not if the wipe worked successfully. He should be fine."

Voice: "At any rate. What should we do to stall the time? Get the other Materia?"

DM: "Precisely what I was thinking. We have the Black and White. All we need are the other four. Blue, Yellow, Red, and Green. And we can make the Ultimate Materia!"

Voice: "And my army has just found the blue."

DM: "And mine the green. The Red and yellow are the only ones still out there. But we need to find them."

Voice: "I think I know where the Red is."

DM: "Good. Send your best troops on it, immediately."

Voice: "Don't order me around! I could kill you!"

DM: "At any rate, you get the Red Materia. I will get the Yellow."

Voice: "You know where it is?"

DM: "Yes..." he turns to his crystal ball, a picture of the Northern Paladin's base shining on it. "I do." On the ball, an army of Ogres and Moogles, all black, suddenly appear. "I'm going to join them. You go to Bravier, and search Ivalice for the Yellow Materia."

Voice: "Exactly what I had in mind. But I am not yet ready to go out. I will
send my troops."

DM: "Whatever. Just make sure you have it. We will need it..."

And he disappears...

Outside NP's base...

DM: "This place seems beaten up. DarkLord must have busted out Sephy. Oh well. Anyone still inside! This, it the Dark Moogle! Prepare to be invaded!"


Soldier: "Here it is!"

Solder 2: "Wait! We've got company!"

The two exit the red Materia cave, to see, coming over the horizon, a legion of the Northern Paladin's troops, being transported down from their ship.

The Dark Moogle's Black Ogres, Black Orcs, and Black Moogle's Moogle's stand ready, along with Dark Moogle's friends' troops.

They clash, and the battle has begun. DM's Army is outnumbered by NP's, but have more brute strength, and magic. Their Black Dragons suddenly appear, and begin to attack the Excelsior, then land and pick of Black ogres with fire scepters. The Black ogres attack NP's army from above. Things go well for the Dark Moogle army.

Then, in with the last transport beam, are the Northern Paladin, and Jerad Galloria, weapons drawn. They attack DM's army, not adding much help.

Jerad: "This is not going well!"

NP: "I know, I know! We should have brought another ship-load of troops!"

Jerad: "Yah think? You know, I've been-" *WHUMP* He is knocked down, as Black Ogres and Orcs pile on to him. He is defenseless.

NP: "Jerad! I'll save you!" He begins to run, but in an extreme flash of yellow light, the Black Ogres go flying, and Jerad stands there, an eerie glow surrounding him.

Jerad: "Get offa me!"

NP: "What the hell was that?!?"

Jerad: "The Yellow Materia at work! If we get the Red, then I can teach you how to use it."

NP: "With all my technology, and all my fancy gizzmoes, that Materia still looks pretty darn cool."

Jerad: "Yes. I can teach you how to drain, and re-power it too! But until then, we've got bigger trouble! We have to get to the cave, to the south, before they get a soldier to their teleporter in the east!"

NP: "Right!"

So the battle continues...

The Northern Paladin

NP: Wait a sec..I thought you said they couldn't use magic teleportation around the Materia!?

Jerad: I did....this isn't a magical device.

NP: {communicator) "Excelsior! Get shields up and cover the following coordinates!" (reads off the area of the teleporter) "That should prevent them from using any non-magical teleportation. And since they can't use any magic teleports, they're stuck here!"

Jerad: "And so are we! What does this do for us?!?"

NP: "Time for my secret weapon... Excelsior! Beam Jerad up...NOW!"

Excelsior: "Energizing..."

Jerad vanishes in a shimmer of blue energy.

NP: "Lock on to the concentration of Materia...if we can't have them, at least we can prevent DarkMoogle from having them....."

Ship: "Target locked, sir."

NP: "Activate the sonic disruptor!"

An ultrahigh frequency of sound emanates from Excelsior's phaser banks...and all the Materia that DarkMoogle's army brought with them shatter!"

Ship: "Uh...sir? We're still reading one materia signature...airborne and heading for space!"

NP: "DAMN! He must have been prepared for an ordinary getaway! Activate the disruptor again!"

Ship: "Sir, it fried our primary phaser power distributor! We can't use it again!"

NP "Damn...beam up our forces and we'll go after him.....wait a sec..NO phasers at all?!? This is a problem. Well, we'll figure it out en-route. Energize!"

The Paladin vanishes as Excelsior warps off in pursuit of the Red Materia.....


Dark Moogle's space bubble:

Soldier: "We got it sir."

Black Ogre: "The Materia is ours! The Dark Moogle will be pleased!"

Dark Voice: "Yes... he will be. The Materia Collection is almost complete."

The Dark Moogle suddenly appears, in a vision.

DM: "Did you get it?!?"

Dark Voice: "Yes, sir! It's is done. We are heading back now!"

DM: "Well, not to burst your bubble, but the Excelsior is right on your tail! I sent up some magic spheres to try and hold it off, and a poison net, but it won't keep them for long! You have my permission to use the Materia to get rid of them!"

Voice: "Right!"

Soldier: "Here they come!"

The Northern Paladin

The Excelsior's bridge...

"Sir, we have them on sensors"

NP: "Acknowledged."

The doors hiss open and Jerad walks through.

Jerad "What did you do to the Materia on the planet?"

NP: "Sonic disruptor...I shattered them."

Jerad: "So? That just destroyed their physical structure.."

NP: "Huh? Damn!"

Jerad: "Well, I know how to destroy them utterly, but..."

NP: "No choice...we can't let them fall into DarkMoogle's hands, no matter what. Agreed?"

Jerad: " Agreed."

NP: "Ok, you mind taking a shuttle back to the planet and finishing the job I started?"

Jerad: "No problem."

NP: "Good...we'll rendezvous with you later."

Crew: "Sir, we have weapons range."

NP: "Battlestations! Condition red!"

Alert lights begin flashing.

NP: "Arm torpedoes...I want to bounce them around...bust their bubble a bit. Tractor beams, stand by..."

Crew "Tractors ready....torpedoes armed."

NP: "Wish the phasers were fixed....Proximity detonation, tubes 1 and 2. FIRE!"

Two glowing red starbursts streak toward the bubble, and detonate very close to it.

NP: "What the...EVASIVE!"

Magical spheres streak towards the ship...

Crew: "They're shifting to track us, sir!"

NP: "Modulate shields to resonate a sonic wave at precisely the right frequency to shatter those spheres..."

Crew: "Sir, that'll drain our warp drive.."

NP: "Can't be helped...it shouldn't take long....engage shield modulation."

Unheard and unseen, the shields begin vibrating...and the spheres shatter as soon as they come into contact with it!

NP: "That was too easy....that can't be it....Engineering!"

Comm: "Yessir?"

NP: "How long to get phasers back online?"

Comm: "Sir, all the power shunts in that sector have been blown..."

NP: "I want one forward bank operational yesterday. Is that too much to ask?"

Comm: "Yessir, it is...but we'll try anyway...out."

Crew: "Um, sir....something headed toward us from port...like some weird kind of net."

Crew 2: "I have it sir, bearing 305 mark 12."

NP: "Looks like I was right...I hate that. ETA?"

Crew 2: "2 minutes 10 seconds, sir."

NP: "Hmmm..it'll likely track with us, so evading is out of the question...ideas, people!"

Crew: " If we had phasers, we could just slice a hole through it..."

NP: "But we don't...next?"

Crew 2: "Hmmmmwe've got to shove it away somehow..."

NP: "Good idea....reverse polarity on the dorsal port tractor beam and engage."

Crew : "Aye, sir!"

Crew: "Activating beam..."

Suddenly, the net slows its advance dramatically....but it doesn't stop.

Crew 2: "It's too big, sir! We can't hold it!"

NP: " Guys, I need those phasers....please!"

Comm: "Well, we're doing the....dammit, that goes here, and THIS goes there....best we can....YES! Perfect! Sir, forward ventral bank one is online and charged!"

NP: "Outstanding! Helm, shift our orientation to port! Weapons, lock phasers on that net and stand by to slice and dice!!"

Crew (all): "Aye sir! Standing by!"

NP: "Fire!"

Excelsior's phasers cleanly carve the net with holes big enough to toss an asteroid through.

Crew: "Sir! Target vessel has stopped...it looks like he wanted to see what happened!"

NP: "Typical moogle....Use phasers to pop that bubble and tractor everyone and everything into the main shuttlebay...have a full contingent of Security there when they arrive..."

Crew: "Aye!"

And so, the chase ends, as they are drawn into Excelsior's cargo hold, wondering what to do now that they are prisoners of the Northern Paladin.....


Soldier 1: "Damn! What do we do?"

Voice: ::grins evilly:: "This. Pathetic people. Their sensors are nothing. The materia have already been rebuilt, and I always had three of the six! The Dark Moogle still has the black and White. So now, we use them."

He pulls out the Ultimate Materia.

"Goodbye Excelsior."

The space bubble goes down, and all that is left is a small charge being brought in by tractor beam. As the North Paladin tries to reverse it, it is too late and the charge reaches inside. Three streaks of light fly off into the distance, the Excelsior explodes.


Jerad: "How am I gonna get off of this rock now?"